Don't Tell Me That I'm Falling In Love

Don't tell me that I'm falling in love. Even if I've never changed so much in me for a single person before. Even if I'm pushing myself to eat more despite not having the appetite just to gain weight. Even if I force my muscles to their very limit whenever I'm at the gym. Even if I've changed the Harry Potter hairstyle that I've worn since I was born. Don't tell me that I'm trying to look my best for you because I'm falling in love.

Don't tell me that I'm falling in love. Even if there is no single hour which passes by that I don't get to think of you one way or another. Even if you keep on stealing into my dreams where I am always the hero who is there to save you. Even if I keep on rereading the messages you've sent me in my fone's inbox before deleting them. Don't tell me that you're always in my thoughts all day long because I'm falling in love.

Don't tell me that I'm falling in love. Even if I've marked in the wall calendar the days I have spent with you. Even if I've never felt so content just having you in my arms and feeling you close to me. Even if my heart beats faster whenever we touch. Even if you're the best kisser that I've ever kissed. Don't tell me that you're making me feel all these because I'm falling in love.

Don't tell me that I'm falling in love. Even if I tolerate you criticizing me to the nth level. Even if you like to make fun of me. Even if I'm not used to being the one who is always running after you. Don't tell me that you've made my world revolve around you because I'm falling in love.

Don't tell me that I'm falling in love. Because I don't want to fall again without no one to catch me. I don't want to trust my heart because I know that it is fickle and cannot be relied upon. I don't want to be hurt again this soon. I don't want to fall in love with you yet because you do not tell me what you really feel for me. Not just yet because we both know that I've got a long way to go before I am able to satisfy you. But despite all that, I cannot stop myself from feeling all these

because...

I'm
already...

falling.

AloHOMOra!

WARNING: This entry is not for underage readers. I'm telling you, do NOT continue reading if you're not very keen on reading rated material. This warning is especially for my underage students! DO NOT READ THIS! This is for my adult readers only!

I just had this crazy thought while I was riding a bus home. But before reading the rest of this, don't judge me too fast alright? I'm not always in this sexualized mood. It's just that this idea is too crazy and funny for me not to share it with you. I had a great time thinking these out. Laugh trip 'to! This is done solely for the fun of it, ok? Don't go ranting to me about decency or some such holiness. Today, I am taking a break from those.

***

Presenting the new Harry Potter series, chronicling Harry's sexual exploits which were excluded in the published books for the sake of its young readers. We all know that Harry is an orphan, therefore, while not in school or before he went to Hogwarts, he has spent a considerable time alone, thinking by himself. Fantasizing about having sex with luscious women... and men. And once he grew of age and was released from his Privet Drive home... Magical things finally happen!

Book 1: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Stoned
While rambling through Diagon Alley, lost and bewildered by his surroundings, Harry came upon a youngish-looking sorcerer who was on a high from taking the wizard equivalent of Muggle drugs. This stoned sorcerer led Harry to a hidden darker alley where lust roams free, and Harry, young as he was, soon finds for himself what the word "magic" really means.

Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets
Harry came upon a mysterious-looking chamber pot while looking for somewhere to take a leak after having sex with a veela. Little did he know than when he pulled his dick out of his boxers to answer nature's call, this chamber pot will be mysteriously activated, bringing to life his forbidden sexual fantasies which, if they only knew, would make his parents rise from their graves.

Book 3: Harry Potter and the Threesomer of Azkaban
During Harry Potter's brief stay in Azkaban, he anticipated that he will be spending his imprisoned days in despair because of the loathsome dementors. On the contrary, after his first night of staying there, he found that he could actually have a swell time with the dementors for they cannot only suck the happiness out of you very well, they can also suck his thing even better!

Book 4: Harry Potter and the Pantylet of Fire
Harry just couldn't contain his jealousy any longer. After the Yule Ball, he rushed to the Ravenclaw common room to have a quickie with the pretty Cho Chang. It was common gossip that Cho was still a virgin despite having a number of horny boyfriends, and Harry, thinking that he was Hogwart's Champion in all aspects, wanted to gain more glory if he was the one to deflower the pristine girl. Little did he know that Cho was cursed into forever wearing a Pantylet of Fire, which will make her sex mates come into full orgasm even without getting her fully naked. Harry now faces the toughest sexual challenge of his life - to stop his orgasm from coming so that he will be able to enter Cho's uncultivated paradise.

Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Penis
Harry was finally irritated by the comings and goings of the pain from his scar since it keeps on disrupting his sexual activities. He searches through the Hogwarts library for a cure to stop this annoyance. With Hermione's help, he came upon this spell which might just do the trick. The thing worked and for a few days, he was able to completely enjoy this new freedom. But just as things were turning for the better, Harry discovered that he had a new problem - he just couldn't control his sexual urges anymore. Classes are disrupted by him jacking off in the classroom. Filch is in an uproar for catching him fucking someone in the corridor every night. His classmates' wands gave off an indescribably foul smell because he sticks them up his ass when they're not looking. When Snape throws him in detention to clean stuff in the dungeons, he fucks Snape himself. For Harry is not in control of himself anymore, he now follows the Order of his Penis.

Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Clad Prince
Harry has decided to put his sexual escapades at bay since Dumbledore has already warned him of being expelled from Hogwarts if he continues in his malicious behavior. To remedy this, Dumbledore invites Harry to stay and talk with him often in his office so that Harry's mind would be prevented from going to greener grounds. But misfortune seems to befall Harry whatever he does. Coming to Dumbledore's office later than usual, he catches the Headmaster in a private moment with his boxers off. Incredibly, Harry falls in love with what he has discovered lurking in the nether regions of the old man. This fatherly relationship has grown scandalously absurd because to Harry, Dumbledore is not his mentor anymore, from then on, he will always be his one and only Half-Clad Prince.

Hahaha! What can you say? Will you ever find anyone else as creative (and green-minded) as I am? Who knows, I might actually write these books in the future. Beware!

Student-Teacher Relationship

Pasukan na naman sa isang buwan. Excited na ako. May makikilala na namang mga bagong mukha, mga bagong kaibigan. Marami na namang magagawang bagong mga jokes sa klase ko, mga moments. Bagong mga alaala na magiging parte na naman ng aking buhay.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko lubusang maintindihan kung bakit ganito ako ka-attached sa aking mga estudyante at sa aking trabaho. Siguro, kung kilala mo ako personally nang kaunti, hindi mo iisiping ganung klase ako ng guro ('yung mabait kuno). Iisipin mo na isa akong normal na guro - strict, boring, mahirap magpa-exam, hindi approachable, etc.

Ewan ko nga ba. Nang pasukin ko ang larangang ito, hindi ko naisip na magiging ganito ka-OA ang enjoyment at fulfillment ko sa pagtuturo. Para bang ito talaga ang nararapat na trabaho para sa akin. Yung tipong laid back lang dahil may pagkatamad ako. Yung tipong para kang artista habang nasa harap ka ng mga students mo pero at the same time nagtuturo ka din ng lesson. Yung tipong binabantayan mo ang lab students mo habang nagkwekwentuhan occasionally at nakikipag-friends na din.

Ang saya talaga maging teacher. Iba ang fulfillment kapag naibibigay mo sa mga estudyante mo ang mga bagay na gagamitin nila sa kanilang mga future. Tapos what makes it nicer is the fact that they're already your friends. Kilala mo na sila at close ka sa kanila kaya ang ganda ng feeling kapag natutulungan mo sila. Hindi yung kagaya ng ibang teacher na hindi nafeefeel ang fulfillment dahil hindi sila motivated kasi nga hindi naman nila kilala yung mga tinuturuan nila - hindi nila nakukuha yung sense ng kanilang trabaho. Mas masaya ang roles ng teacher at students kong may bonding talaga.

Pero take note, para maging close sa mga students, hindi mo kinakailangang maging mabait lang. Kasi kapag mabait ka lang, pero hindi ka talaga "one" with your students, aabusuhin ka lang nila. Dapat nagagalit ka din occasionally kung may reason, at ipapaliwanag mo sa kanila kung bakit ka nagalit. That way, if ever may nakakalimot man sa linya between teachers and students, maipapaalala mo sa kanila na hindi ka nila kachokaran na pwedeng balewalain at all times.

Iyon. That's the technique. Be one with your students. Para sa akin kasi, madali lang iyon dahil hindi pa naman ako ganun katanda (hindi talaga). Alam ko pa kung gaano kahirap ang buhay ng isang UP student kaya naiintindihan ko sila. Actually, kapag naging friends mo na students mo, hindi mo na kailangang mag-effort pa e. Everything follows after that. Makipag-lunch ka with them. Hang out habang nagyoyosi.

Pero sadly, all good things come to an end. Masakit para sa akin (no joke) kapag patapos na ang sem. Kasi yung mga friends mo, mawawala na. Maghihiwalay na kayo. Kahit ano pang sabihin natin na "friends pa din tayo" o kahit idagdag niyo pa na "text-text na lang", after ng sem, iba na talaga ang lahat. Kanya-kanya na tayo ng direksyon at mga ginagawa. Sa pagtatapos ng sem, mawawala na ang nagbuklod sa atin - ang klase. Kung ano ang dahilan ng pagkakakilala natin sa isa't isa, iyon din ang magdudulot ng katapusan nito.

Nakakaiyak balikan ang lahat ng mga naging klase ko. Bawat klase may kanya-kanyang moments, mga pasaway at mababait na students. Merong mga henyo't henya sa Chem , meron ding kailangan ng additional help. Ang mga bloopers tuwing may experiment. Ang mga tuksuhan sa mga nabubuong love teams (kaya nga lab e). Ang mga awayan na kailangan pang i-open forum. Lahat. LAHAT ng iyon ay nasa puso ko pa rin hanggang ngayon. Nakakalungkot dahil sana forever na tayong magkakasama lahat. Pero ganoon talaga ang life...

Tanggap ko na na lagi na lang akong magiging ganito. Bawat sembreak na lang, luluha nang konti diyan habang binabasa ang inyong mga "love letters", habang tinitingnan ang mga trinkets na ibinigay niyo sa akin, binabasa ang mga essays ninyo. Iiyak na lang habang nakikita ko sa isip ko ang mga mukha ninyo habang nasa lab tayo. Kung saan parang naglalaro lang tayo dahil ang saya natin lahat. Biruan dito, kwentuhan diyan, hanggang sa hindi natin namalayan na patapos na pala ang period natin. Patapos na pala ang sem.

Tapos na, mga students ko. Tapos na ang sem. Wala na ako. Wala na kayo. Pero naaalala ko pa rin ang lahat ng mga napagdaanan natin. Sana hindi niyo ko makalimutan. Sana kahit tumanda na tayo lahat, maisip pa din natin na minsan, sa isnag dumihing kwarto sa Chem Pav, may nabuong mga pagkakaibigan. May nabuong mga alaala na minsan sa buhay natin, napagsabay nating maging masaya at tumawa habang nag-aaral tayo ng kimika.

Paalam sa inyo mga students ko. Salamat sa isang maligayang sem na pinagsamahan natin. One big HUG for ALL of you!!! Mamimiss ko kayong lahat! Huwag niyong kakalimutan ang mga pinagsamahan natin...

:c

The Best of One Tree House

A whole year has passed since I first started blogging in here. It would not be an overstatement to say that my blog has been the source of a lot of gossiping, wanted and unwanted. In my whole life, never have I been so controversial and scandalously famous because of the things I've put in this blog. There are good things and bad things in that, the latter sometimes making me really think about deleting this blog. But as long as I get some feedback about my entries. As long as people learn from my experiences even if I end up being looked down upon, I don't care. I will just continue writing stuff in here because in this way, I am able to inspire and touch more lives.

This blog is called "One Tree House" from the psychology test of the same name. In there, you are asked to draw a person, a tree, and a house and from your drawings, insights into your life can be drawn. I have the same purpose in blogging. Through my writing, through the comments I receive from friends and strangers alike, I am able to know myself a little better.

This is my 126th entry, and I have received 128 comments (not including those who emailed their comments or those who sent Friendster messages instead), four of which were mine. Looking back, I can see how I am continually growing as a person. From each painful entry, I learn something new. I can see how I have changed from the boring nerd who doesn't have a life to who I am today (which, I tell you, is a long way from who I used to be).

This entry is especially dedicated to my friends who have posted comments on my blog. I believe that those who took the time to read my entries, those who took the time to respond when I'm at one of my lowest are really my bestest of friends. Thank you for taking the time to listen and respond.

Celebrate with me as we look back upon the best entries of One Tree House.

2005
October: "I Will Never Forget the Eleventh"
This is about my outing with my Chem16 class last year. About the joys and pains of becoming a teacher too attached to his students. There is a hidden meaning in this.

November: "Escape"
Hmm... This is about demigod. I included this because... it makes its readers feel bad. LE almost cried about this one.

December: "Almost Crazy Fantastically"
I don't like this one very much. This is about demigod again. This is me at one of my craziest moments.

2006
January: "Wasting Sperm Cells"
This is great. One of my favorite entries. A bit on the green but wholesome nonetheless. Enjoy this one!

February: "Like an Ogier to a Stedding"
For those who are thrilled by love. Perhaps one of my most romantic entries ever. This is about Chiyo and me. Perfect for the Valentine's season. Hehe check out the single comment on this one.

March: "X and Y"
This is the spark of everything. My "coming out" entry. The hardest entry for me to write. It's not actually a really good read, but it's a very memorable one.

April: "One Summer Night"
Haha. Another one of those entries on the greener side. The ending is... surprising. A nice read especially when you're feeling hot.

May: "The Count's Tale I: The Last Flower"
The first chapter of my first attempt at a fiction series. The whole tale is made up of 8 entries I wrote from May to June. If you're into fantasy, check this one out.

June: "Venus"
Astig 'to. Another romantic entry, which isn't really romantic. When I was writing this one, I was like floating in space, entranced.

July: "David"
I think my readers like this best. Even Cookie cried for this one. This is about my crazy brother. I strongly recommend reading this entry. Probably the best I've ever written here. I was almost crying while I was writing this one.

August: "Ikot"
This is about demigod again. I like this because the feelings I've put in here are intense.

September: "Noon"
Moved my readers. This is also one of my personal favorites. A family-centered entry about my sexuality. Nakakaiyak din 'to... Huhuhu.

There. Those were my favorite entries per month. If you're still into that reading high. Check these other entries:

"The Bus"
A simple story, but sometimes, those simple stories are the ones which get through to us the most.

"Sa Motel"
A sexual trip turned into a comedy. Got a lot of comments from this one.

"To Be A Father"
Another story about my probable future. About what people like me miss out in life.

"Sige"
About moving on from our past relationships told simply and bluntly.

These are, in my opinion, the best entries of One Tree House. I'm looking forward to another year of blogging. My only worry is: How many blog entries can Friendster blogs accommodate?

Kudos to Joanna Uy's blog, "Everyday is Springtime", which has just been closed. It's sad to think that we will not be getting any entries from you from now on.

Last, I would like to congratulate myself for surviving this long. I welcome with open arms this coming year of blogging. I welcome both the coming happiness and sadness this year has to offer. I welcome them all because I know that they will only make me stronger in the end. I will continue to live up to what my name stands for, and prove those who are looking at me differently wrong.

With the Fireflies

I held his hand and looked away from him, tracing lazy circles on his skin with my fingertips. I felt my heart beating stronger with our touch, a thing which I previously thought can only happen in books. Grinning secretly, I looked outside the taxi window, but I wasn't really focusing on what my eyes were seeing. I was simply savoring his touch and his presence. While it lasts.

I turned my head and found him looking at me. "What?", he asked in his mild voice. "Nothing", I said, smiling sheepishly at him, feeling awkward because I still can't quite believe that my Cookie is actually sitting there beside me and pressing my hand in return. He quirks the corners of his lips at my reply (that, I interpret to be a smile) and gives me one of his mysterious straightforward looks.

***

In the bus, on my way back home, I tried to think of what has happened and what is happening between us. Things I have been dreaming of for a long time are now coming true. It would have felt so good to simply plunge into the moment and wallow in my present happiness. But perhaps, because of the lessons I've learned from my past experiences, something tells me to hold back. To still keep my guard on my emotions until we're both sure of each other.

For now, I'm still in that state of unbelief. I am still stunned that a while ago, I was able to spend my idle hours with Cookie. That a while ago, he was teaching me how to manage my money. That he gave me his business card. That he took my small gift. That he allowed me to take him to class and to take him home.

***

Something which happened earlier:

"What are those? Fireflies?"

"Yep."

The swish of our footsteps on the wet grass, my occasional labored exhalations served as the prelude to one of the most magical moments I've ever had. Even the lights from the passing cars on the road did not seem out of place for that scene. His need to hurry, the rashness of going cross-country, the unexpectedness of the whole situation... All those were, for me, ingredients of wonder. The stars were our only witnesses. And the fireflies, putting their chemical lights on and off as they hovered over that unplottable area, which to me will never be the same again.

Sugarbabylove

Totoo pala na kung may lungkot, may ligaya. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako lubos na makapaniwala sa mga nangyari. Nadaig pa pati mga panaginip ko...

In the future, kapag malulungkot na naman ako (if ever), babalikan ko na lang ang mga pangyayari ngayong October 1. Dati, sabi ko sa isang entry ko nun, "Wake me up when September ends because here comes October to give me a good beating." Ngayon, ang masasabi ko na ay "Wake me up when September ends because here comes October to bring me my sugarbabylove."

Last year, October was my worst month. This year however, it might turn out to be the best. Not only the best this year, but throughout my whole life even.

Wala lang. For a change, masaya lang talaga ako. Parang may fever nga ako ngayon eh dahil sa pagka-high. Ngayon lang kasi medyo nagsisink in ang lahat... Sugarbabylove, I won't fail you. I'll do my best! This I swear.

Mwah!