Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Dawn at Red Island

It has always been my bad habit to focus on the things which are wrong in my life. Ever since, I've always talked about my failures and deficiencies, lost relationships, things I cannot have... I was blinded by these faults in my personality and in my surroundings. Time and again, I've continually picked at the holes in my life's tapestry, letting myself be carried away by my own self-pity and my overly-analytical mind coupled with my overly-emotional heart.

That phase in my life, I believe, has come to an end.

From now on, I will focus on the things which I have, which after some reflection, are not bad at all.

First, I have a good job. I am an instructor at the premiere university in the country, of a subject that the university excels in. Chancellor Cao was right, I am a part of the best of the best. Few can become UP students but fewer are qualified to be UP instructors. I am proud of my job.

Second, I am working in an intellectual community. I am taking my MS degree and that keeps my brain sharp. I enjoy what I'm learning. I like it how biochemistry can make impossibilities (like me having superpowers) closer to reality. And grade-wise, I think I still am closer to the top than to the bottom.

Third, I am rather famous. With every sem that passes, more UP students get to hear of my name. Being famous has always been one of my life's dearest ambitions and I never thought teaching will give me that!

Fourth, I love my students and I suppose most of them love me back. I love teaching them about chemistry, life, and love. I get to know really good friends and the love I get in return is priceless. I virtually have a real army of friends (hundreds of them) behind me!

Fifth, I am living comfortably. I'm staying in a new and nice dormitory. I can afford to splurge a little on things that I like. True, I still cannot buy everything that I want but at this point, I am getting enough and I am contented with the possessions that I have.

Sixth, I am remembered. My relatives notice when I'm not present family gatherings. My relatives ask how I am doing. My students and friends remember me by texting me quotes, posting comments, sending messages, inviting me to events occasionally. My company is wanted. And my monthly friendster viewings (so far) have not fallen below the hundred level.

Seventh, I am living the life that I want. I am free to do what I want to do. I am free to express myself and to be who I really am. I do not feel threatened to stop being me and people like me just the way I am.

And lastly,
the reason why I'm feeling so good right now
that no matter what kind of problems you throw at me, I know that somehow I'm going to be okay because I have the greatest treasure life has to offer


I've got true love
I have my baby


And that is a reason to celebrate

:)

Friday, January 11, 2008

I Wanna Suck You

I wanna kiss you and suck you til you're dry. I wanna suck you til you're devoid of life. I wanna suck you til you beg me to stop, though I know you don't have the means to resist. Once I ignite you, you're putty in my hands.



I wanna suck you anytime, anywhere. I don't think many can have sucking here in school, but we know secret places they don't. So I suck you almost everyday, whenever I have the time. Before classes, before taking exams. We sneak to our secret place and you let me suck you til you're hot and I'm satisfied. Other teachers may see me, and know that I'm getting myself some (for the nth time), but I don't care. They're too good and normal. They don't suck as often as I do. Most haven't done any sucking at all.



So I suck. I suck you until my throat is dry. I suck you and let you into my deepest crevices, and I get high. Oh, how I get high.



Those around me tell me it's bad, sucking you. Some tell me to do it less often. But I don't listen to them. They're just jealous and they don't understand. This is between you and me. I want it, and you're willing to let me have you so I suck you. And I get you hot then you let me put my lips on you. Simple as that.



Now enough of this entry. I wanna get myself some throat-deep sucking.



***



Wow what an entry. Somebody should help me quit smoking.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

This Blog

Ah. It's been ages since I've been here in this blog. The longest time I've gone without rattling the keyboard. So much for that "regularly annoying" blogger...



There was a reason, reader, why I was away. For one, I have been very busy with work and my acads. For another, I got sick. You've missed a lot of happenings in my life, reader. The anniversary, my aunt's death, things at home, my escapades, and discoveries about myself. And I missed recording the significant ones here. It is my loss.



There was a time, reader, some days ago, when I thought that blogging was just a phase in my life and that I'm over it now. For the first time, I felt that I needed no audience. I needed no outlet. That I was complete and that writing, from then on, would be a chore.



I was afraid of that feeling. I was afraid of that big change in me. For two years, aside from my albums, this blog was the most constant thing in my life. This blog was my free domain, where I can say almost anything that I want. This blog contained almost everything that happened. I lived in this blog. I've made a world out of my entries and now, I'm having thoughts of quitting?



Then, I realize, reader, what my utmost reason in writing is. I learned that it wasn't really for the comments or for the attention. It was not really for self-actualization or for self-expression. I discovered that I write simply for myself. For the small pleasure I get seeing my words on the screen.



I change, reader. And there may come a day when no more entries will come out of this blog. But even so, what I've written here will remain as a testament of the life I once lived. I am proud of that life. I may have made a fool out of myself a number of times. I may have hurt some people, but I don't regret the things I've revealed in here. That was who I was.



Ah. I'm rambling and being emo. Bye for now.



I missed being in here.