ENTRIES: A to M

I am making this for my future reference. Sometimes, we just feel like looking back on some of our previous entries - our previous thoughts, who we were...

I will, of course, update this from time to time, and hopefully improve this. I can, for example, rate my own entries or make a short description of what they're about.

2 Become 1 "Tiningnan ko nang patago ang mga pasahero ng bus, lalo na yung mga nasa likuran. Wala. Wala namang nakatingin. Hindi nila tayo makikita."

4 in the Morning "And all I know is you’ve got to give me everything
And nothing less 'cause you know I’d give you all of me "

4D "Of all times, you shouldn't lose your concentration now."

7 "I cannot convince myself to go on and try again because I am trying but you don't believe me because I keep silent."

A Call For All Sexes "I've realized that one of the few bad things about being openly gay is that people begin to consider you as inconsequential."

A Memory of His Face "But today was different. Today, I just woke from a dream I've never had before... "

A Note/ Plan V "This afternoon, I was checking my Chem 16 students' prelabs, and I came upon this small sheet of paper inserted in a lab notebook."

A Reason For Religion "I thought on death as the strong wind blew in short strong gusts I had to adjust my footing to avoid stumbling from it. How soon before it was my turn to sit on the chair near the freshly-turned earth?"

A Significunt Entry "Wait, why do I have to be so prudish? SEX! I'm talking about SEX!"

A Thursday To Remember "I woke up in someone else's room, still exhausted."

Almost Crazy Fantastically "What does it take? Tell me!! What does it take to forget??! Ive drank all the alcohol I could and still I cant let this out. I need more! More! Its just not enough.."

All You've Left Me With "You've taken away the only thing I can cherish about us besides love. Now I'm left with scraps. No not even. I must accept the truth. I'm left with NOTHING."

AloHOMOra! "When Snape throws him in detention to clean stuff in the dungeons, he fucks Snape himself. For Harry is not in control of himself anymore, he now follows the Order of his Penis."

Alpha "Because you are nothing but his ghost who is present only in my imagination..."

Always Come Back To You "When you're at that point in life It just has to be tonight"

Ang Krimen "Shet shet shet shet shet. Whaat ano ito? Bakit may nararamdaman akong matulis sa likod ko?"

Another Day "Today I woke just in time. It was 7am when I opened my eyes, put on my shirt, and jumped off Boi's bed."

As Long As "just having fun with my fellow dancers and with the audience, savoring that precious moment when I am able to do what I love to do in front of people."

Asked For This "I am asking you to please understand that I got myself too involved with you and that in order for me to let go and move on, you have to do something too."

B-Men "What if bisexuality can be cured? Will I take it or will I be holding a placard instead?"

Bad Teacher "I am not your goody-two-shoes prof. I drink, I smoke, I don't check papers in time, I say bad words in class, etc. And yet, I love my students."

Better Than Text "tatanungin nila akong, "Sir, bakit mag-isa ka lang?", itataas ko na lang ang balikat ko kasi wala akong maisagot."

Blah Blog "Good evening class, our lesson for today is about blogging. Ano ba ang blog? Paano nga ba mag-blog? Ano ba ang katuturan nito sa ating buhay? Makakain ko ba ito?"

Boyfriend "Kakausapin mo siya? Tapos? Iiyakan? Tapos kung papayag siya, hug mo siya? Tapos kiss?"

Catcher "I'm falling from this cliff again Not knowing where I'll land"

Changes "It seems like my New Year's Resolution has been made for me with the recent and still bitter loss of my fone."

Cold "It's cold outside. Because it's cold inside, too."

Comprehension "Ok time's up. Bye."

Cookie "I even scribbled little hearts (forgive me) and smiley faces on the edges of my notebook because I felt so strangely high."

Cookie 2 "Bakit nacancel daw yung date niyo last Saturday?"

Cough It All Out "Maybe it's time I return to the place where all my sorrows started.. Im coming back up to the rooftop. And perhaps jump."

Courage "I told myself that if it is going to happen, I will make it happen. I will know the outcome NOW."

Creation and Creations "The last thought that I can remember before falling asleep one night was that about the validity of the existence of religion and of God."

Cum Laude For Nothing "Intelligence is bullshit!"

D the Dermatologist "I feel ashamed, true, being so exposed to the person I want to please most in the world, And yet, I feel warmth, too."

Dancefloor "Well, you know me. You can call me "the Spider" for the way I try to make things happen to my own pleasure."

David "It is hard to think that this... cruel monster... who's always causing us misery used to be my brother. He used to be David."

de la Isla "dahil alam nating lahat na hindi iyon ang sukatan ng pagkalalaki. Nasa pagharap natin ito sa ating mga problema."

Don't "Stop putting dreams in my head/ When I should've thought of him instead"

Don't Tell Me That I'm Falling In Love "Don't tell me that I'm falling in love. Because I don't want to fall again with no one to catch me."

"Eleven" and "Back For More" "There is nothing worth saying today except that my new album is almost ready."

Emptied "I was playing with my lighter, tossing it up, catching it as it falls. I tried it with my eyes closed, and I failed."

Escape "Run! Run like your running for your life! Run like Im a monster. I want to run! I want to get away from this. I want to know how it feels to escape and free myself of... you."

Exam Blues "What is the cheverloo of chukchakchenes if 459.38 Chuvs is chukchak with 3.409857 Keverloo?"

Excelsior! "I dont think anybody will read this anyway, but im going to put loads in here. Especially my journal entries and some other stuff i wrote."

F.A.Q. "Do you believe in privacy?"

Facing A Facelift "If I wanted to talk about serious stuff, I can do that. And you cannot stop me."

Finally "As of now, I'm still astounded. My thoughts are still scattered even if a week has already passed since Cookie said "yes" to me..."

Fine Fine "Geez I was talking about this serious shit again. Fine fine. I will try to be fine."

Fuck You I Love You "We are all for sale at one price or another. Each of us has an idea of our own worth, which we unconsciously compare with those of other people."

Fucking Issue "While we were inside the bathroom, somebody came."

GF2BF "I've said we've broken up, and that's that. But I couldn't say that I've replaced her with a boyfriend though!"

Goodbye Sir Willie "I will remember Sir Willie and the price of being too tardy when you cannot afford to be."

Gripping Sanity "What are words? Will they change my sexuality? Will they change how crazy I am? What can they do?!"

Hale "Hoy! Balita ko according to the latest chika may bago ka na daw! Ooops! Secret ba?"

Harry & Me "I've always wanted to be Harry. I've followed his journey through the magical world, imagining it was I in his place, fighting against the Dark forces... "

Heartbreakers "Go away, bastard. You're full of shit, and if ever I see you alone I'm sorry but things might just get out of my hands. I might hurt you."

Hell's Glare "God, what are you putting me through? I started turning away from you. Because, as I was getting older, I change. I learn things about myself. I began to understand what a cursed life you are putting me into."

Helping You Out "I dont think I deserve that fone. I mean, I've told you that I'm basically wasting my money on booze and parties."

Heto Na Naman Tayo "Malamig ka. Parang malayo. Napangiti na lang ako. At sinabi ko sa sarili ko, "Heto na naman tayo...""

Hiatus "I am letting things lie by themselves for a while. I realized, after talking with my high school friends during my "Coming Out Party", that I am taking too much control over my life."

HIV+ "But how am I going to explain it to those I had sex with since?"

Holding On "Despite my failures, I try to keep a straight face and be brave for tomorrow. I'm holding on, even if it seems fate itself is unclasping my fingers from my grip. I'm fighting the devil."

Home "Is this how my life should be? Efforts, pretensions, looking away from what I really want? Why can't I make it work?!"

Hunk "Nahihiya kasi ako sa katawan ko dun. Parang one-half lang ako nang ibang tao dun. Yung iba pa nga, one third lang siguro ako."

Hunk 2 "I will be able to flirt more. I can finally take my shirt off whenever I'm hot. I will be hot."

Hunk 3 "I give lifting weights, especially the chest press and the shoulder press, my all! "

Hunter Haunted "Who knows? Who knows I made myself foolishly suffer when in fact, it was he who is pining away, trapped by his own deluded personality?"

I Will Never Forget the Eleventh "But deep inside, in the sparkle of my eye, there is something which still burns. And that is the memory of the wonderful times we have spent with each other."

I'm Speaking Up "It was around this same time last year when I was being beaten up on the streets of KNL."

I'm Still Remembering "I am still not completely sober. Ive just arrived from an inuman with my Chem 16 10 to 1 class"

Idle Itching "Yeah, youd be quite thick if you were not able to guess what drives me to blog. Or maybe, you were deluded. The thing is, its out."

If I Were You "If I were you, I wouldn't have considered me as a trophy of your vanity. A captured soul hanging around your neck."

Ikaw, Ikaw, Ikaw, at Ikaw "Naaalala mo pa ba ang mga yosi breaks natin sa rooftop, at dala-dala ko ang aking discman at isang mug ng Pop Cola habang naghihintay tayo ng shooting stars?"

Ikot "Kung mayroon lang akong dalang tabla nang magkita tayo sa Ikot jeep, hahampasin kita nang paulit-ulit."

In One Word/ The Beginning of the End "Sana naging student ko ikaw 'no? I know inggit ka, you might have had the class of your life! Hahahaha!"

In This Deep "No matter how clear you've presented my options, some things just can't bear being said without me getting hurt."

Into the Blue "Why did I watch it again? Well, you know, because somebody there reminds me of someone.. Yuck, i am totally not moving on."

Lasahan Mo 'To "I was a fool to let her go, I realize now. I was the biggest fool. Who would love me as much as she did? Nobody. I will not find anybody else who will accept for everything that I am."

Lightning-Shaped Scar "Great in comparison with other people.
With my personal standards though, I am not up to scratch."

Like an Ogier to a Stedding "My Chiyo's love is like washing my underwear."

Love Spell "Last year's Valentine's, I was at home, absent from school. I never even remembered that it was Valentine's... This year though... it is different."

Lucky "I'm LE Cardona for Fag News standing outside the IC Building waiting for Lucky... Oh my gulay, here he cums!"

Mga Pagtakas sa Katotohanan "Hayan na ang tama! Talon diyan, sayaw dito, higa dun sabay iyak at tawa. May tama na nga ako."

Motivation "I was used to being pampered when it comes to relationships. Now it's my turn to sweat for it."

Music Update: "Break" Lineup Finalized "In a press conference held in the Shangri-la Hotel in Cebu City, Mr. de la Isla gave hints and comments about his latest music sensation yet to come."

Music Update: "Lovely" Lineup Finalized " "The songs here are, indeed, the best of the best songs, both aesthetically and lyrically. It's really really good, I can't have enough of it," he shares amidst wild and manic cheering from the people present."

Music Update: Plans for the Upcoming Album "Light" Revealed ""Light" will focus more on the theme of redemption, in contrast to the dark and dreary album which was "Break" released early October last year."

My AC/DC Shirt "It's like he wanted to be mad at me, or... or humiliate me and question me. All I was able to say was, "Yes. I know...""

My Day "So what happened was that I couldn't possibly go straight home in that condition. I detoured to SM to watch a movie. And my plan was to watch it until I rot."

My Last Night at the Rooftop "Where I grew up, where I fell, where I loved, where I revealed myself, where I lived with happiness and acceptance, where I almost killed myself, where I became a man... at least for a while."

My Speech "Love, Sir Bry"

ENTRIES: N to Z

No. Never. ""I am so happy," I said, holding his hands. Tears in my eyes. "I am... too." PUTANG-INA MO BRY, ANG TANGA MO!"

No Read No Right "Do we blog because we are unstable? Because we need to hold on to superficial things like Friendster blogs or livejournal to make our lives make sense?"

Noon ""Mommy," sabi ko. "May bago akong nililigawan ngayon..."Tiningnan nya ako. "Sino?" "Lalaki...""

Oblation Run "Butts."

On My Bed "What was more important was that he has shown how he felt. He loved, even if he was not loved back. He loved. Thats it. Thats what matters."

On The Fulcrum "The day has come. And the clock is ticking...Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

One Click "Click on the white "X" in the top right corner of the box that contains the photo of the friend you wish to delete."

One Summer Night "It was stiff, and it pressed against my hand. If I hold it too hard, he moans."

Open-Mindedness "Bry, you're more sinful than the average person. And it's affecting your life in ways you might not realize. For one thing, your sex drive may ultimately be your downfall."

Paglimot "Na minsan. Ay nagmahal ako. Iniwanan. At kinalimutan."

Paths "Fools! Drawing to conclusions! Just because you know a part of the story does not mean the rest will be like what you think it is."

Pretty Thing "Hey you, you pretty thing you You never read my blogs, do you? Perhaps it's better if you never do Your ego then will be enough for two"

Prey "In one small fenced off area, surrounded by blocks of stone and iron, the devil was pacing back and forth upon an altar."

Prostitute "Hindi ko siya kinakausap dahil wala namang kailangang pag-usapan. Nagawa ko na ang trabaho ko. Yun lang."

Pushing My Buttons "Sometimes, I just want to tell the world, tell my classmates, tell Professor Laurena that I do have a life outside school and that I have control over the things I do. I am not to be dictated by the academe!"

Re: I Deserve It " "I would like to leave everything behind," he said. "I hope you'll try your best to understand." "

Resurgam "A weird feeling. Like i have just awakened. (Look, I know all this sounds made up and cheesy, but it did happen you know!). You know who saved me? It's Gwen Stefani! Yeah!"

Sa Apartment "Haha. Nakakamiss din kasi ang fucking."

Sa Kasal Mo "Walang Bry. Bawal si Bry. Wala ako doon. Bawal ako sa pinaka-espesyal na araw ng iyong buhay."

Sa Motel "10 am, naglalakad ako sa may _______. Palingon-lingon. Kabado. Sobrang kabado. First time ko 'to gagawin. At sa hindi ko pa kakilala."

Sana "Ilang pulgada lang ang distansya natin sa isa't isa kanina sa maluwag na Ikot. Isang lingon ko lang, pwede na kitang matitigan."

Say No "But has it ever occured in your secret fantasies of getting the chance to have your wish fulfilled, to proudly confront your genie and say with audacity, "No thanks, I'm happy with who and what I am right now." "

Shots "This will be the last time you will hug my body pure and untouched by others. This will be our last hug together as Chiyo and Toy, you and me, Honey and Honey."

Sige "Wala nang sasagabal sa aming dalawa para matagpuan namin kung sino ba talaga ang nararapat para sa amin."

Sir "What if I touch his hand while he was giving me back my lab notebook. Will I finally get confirmation?"

Six Feet Under "Six feet under, under my skin/ there's a battle I know I cant win/ you invade me, and I surrender/ yeah, that's what I hate about you"

Skeleton Warrior "Chest pain. Blinking lights. Christmas. Problem set."

Smile "I won't forget to smile. It wouldn't be that flashy as yours though. It would be more like a slight quirking of the corners of my lips. My small expression to say that "I hate you! You've made a fool out of me, but that's cool." "

Soon "I am afraid for the coming weeks. I have to be prepared. I dont know if my students see, but... I am afraid."

Sorry "Flirt to the left I'll flirt to the right Nothing more 'cause My heart's caught tight"

Spaced Out "Why are chemists the happiest people on earth?"

Spirits "But then it is Christmas. And I realized that if I cannot make myself happy on my own, maybe I'd just make other people happier."

Stand "If you love another man, or another woman, so be it. Love is love, no matter the sexuality."

Strength "It is this tarot card test I took in tickle.com."

Student-Teacher Relationship "Paalam sa inyo mga students ko. Salamat sa isang maligayang sem na pinagsamahan natin."

Success "Success is relative. Only I can say whether I've done well or not."

Sugarbabylove "Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako lubos na makapaniwala sa mga nangyari. Nadaig pa pati mga panaginip ko..."

Sugarbabylove 2 "Kahit anong paghahalo-halo mo ng mga salita, hindi mo pa rin maiexpress nang tama ang feelings mo."

Sugarbabylove 3 "I'M MISSING MY BABY SO MUCH MY CHEST ALREADY HURTS."

Suicidal Blog Entry "And as I was rummaging through my things, it dawned upon me that - shet, isang taon na pala akong nagtuturo."

The Best of One Tree House "Celebrate with me as we look back upon the best entries of One Tree House."

The Blacksmith's Hands " "They don't walk around with signs you know. Like 'Hey, I'm avaialble' or 'I wanna go out with you'." "

The Bus "I shed a tear, right there on the sidewalk. "For the things I do not fully understand," I said, smiling, as I wiped my face with my hankie."

The Colour of the Wheat Fields "So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near -- "Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry." "

The Count's Tale Epilogue: An Eye For An Eye "The Count is not dead," Apollo replied, and before the Prince could continue his haranguing again, it quickly added, "As with what it seemed he did to you, I took away the one he loves the most. I took the hunter's life."

The Count's Tale I: The Last Flower "A cool breeze blew as he laid his last flower over her grave. The smell of freshly-dug earth filled his nostrils."

The Count's Tale II: The Flight of the Crow "The really powerful spells are not those with the loudest bangs and brightest lights. Nor is it those which can control the strongest mind or weaken the bravest heart."

The Count's Tale III: The Count and the Hunter "Steady, my Count. If we're meant to be, you will wait for me. "

The Count's Tale IV: A Black Feather "Alarmed, the hunter's companion went to him. "What is it?" he asked. He got no answer. He opened the hunter's hands and saw a black feather, now crushed from the hunter's grip."

The Count's Tale V: The Prisoners " "I know about you. And him. And I'm going to kill him first. Kill the one you love in front of you. In front of everyone. Oh, how I know you'll suffer..." "

The Count's Tale VI: An Arrow Through the Heart "He wouldn't have minded them being locked up together, but they were being locked up together to die."

The Count's Tale VII: Tears and Shadows " "You know what," he choked through his sobs. "What's harder than you not... not loving me back?" The Count paused, and he cried some more. "What's harder is that... is that... I can't even show you how much I love you!" "

The End of the Count's Tale: The Cliff "I could hear no more breathing. I can feel no more tension in him. The heartbeat I felt against my chest was... gone."

The End of One Tree House "There's something quite different about Sundays. There's something special about the brightness of the sun, and the sky."

The Island Journals: Introduction "Why do I want to put those in here? Aren't those private? Well, yeah, they are private, but I do not mind."

The Island Journals - Prologue: Back "You like to hurt yourself don't you? You want to die, huh? No? Because you cannot feel any more pain? Stupid boy."

The Locked Door In Me "Making albums is my way of connecting to people. My way of telling them of what happened to me. My own special means of giving a part of my life to others."

The Song "The song was beating inside my head as the dark clouds above swirled amidst a still darker sky. My head was spinning, as fast as thoughts alone could make your head spin."

The Sweetest Fun "A man can kill and still be the sweetest fun"

This Page Cannot Be Displayed "Who would like to read about something so taboo, it shouldn't even be written nor read?"

Three Asterisks "If I say that my girlfriend is <toot!> and that I am a <toot!> would you be surprised? If I tell you straight that I <tooted!> my <toot!> would you <toot!> me because of that?"

Time of my Life "Faces. Laughter. Smiles. Tears. Everything within the 2 minutes and 34 seconds of this song."

To Be A Father "As I was closing the door, I saw my son totter back to his room, vanishing even before he reached his destination. This is the path I chose, son."

To Try "I saw my Mom, who was sitting on the bed, sink slowly to herself as the interrogation went on. She bowed her head as if she was being humiliated right then..."

Toy's Victory "No more angst. No more bitterness. It is weird sometimes I almost feel that I am married - a weird thing."

Turning 22 "I hate these days. These few remaining hours before my birthday comes. Normally, I would be excited since... well, it's my birthday."

Unraveling "For instance, just a few hours ago. I thought of taking a shower since it was quite a warm night. The next thing I know, I was naked in the bathroom, staring at the hair on my nipples."

Untitled "In this way, I am able to isolate a part of myself and preserve it. Like a picture, I am storing memories as much as I can while I can."

Up Drama Down "I've never been into dating before. Well, actually reader... I DID. Once. And it was quite a disaster on my part."

Vanity House "All good things come to an end, and the girl is moving out of the house. This weekend, she said. She's moving out for her own reasons."

Venus "After the coldness of the day, the indifference of the afternoon... In the night, we become the old me and you."

Verge of Three "Gray skies merge On the verge of three A shout was heard That I'm coming free!"

Veritaserum "If I feel hurt, I write that Im hurt. If I feel shit, I give you shit. If Im pathetic, I tell you Im pathetic. Do I need to pretend? That sucks!"

Voice "No drums, no bass, no lead guitar. No trumpets, keyboards, nor synthesizers. But I have a voice here in my blog."

Wamuffet "This is the original poem I wrote to Chiyo last year. Back when she was back with her other one. Funny how it seems.. reading it now. It's like this was from a long long time ago."

War "They said that the left path did consider opening itself to me, and was surprised that it did consider, and so tried to run away from all of it by leaving me behind."

Wasting Sperm Cells "Dont think this is a green entry, I am simply stating facts in a scientific biochemical approach."

Welcome to Heaven's Glare "Un din pala. Minsan, iniisip ko na may tendency akong pumatay ng tao. Kasi sa totoo lang, may pagka-violent talaga ako kahit nung bata pa."

What Hurts Me Most "Do you know what you could do to hurt me most? You can make me suffer so much. I am at the mercy of just one word. And what is that?"

Who I Need To Love "My heart, my brain, my body is pulling me in different directions! I want them, to please, coordinate themselves."

Wink! Wink!/ Over "Six feet under Into the blue Left of the middle What can I do?"

With the Fireflies "The stars were our only witnesses. And the fireflies, putting their chemical lights on and off as they hovered over that unplottable area..."

X and Y "Do you know how slow my hand types right now? Do you know how my mind is telling me NOT to publish this entry at all?"
 
You "I don't know whether I'm strong now, baby. All I'm sure of is that I'm stronger than who I used to be. All I know is that, whatever the future might bring, I'm just so happy. So happy that you are here now with me."