Wish and wish and wish. Just wish for something you cannot have. Just jump and roll on the sand. You're back on your island. Welcome back. It is smiling at you. A fiendish smile. Like saying that you can never run from it. You are an island. You have accepted that before. Trying to run away from me, are you? Hahaha. You cannot fool yourself forever young man. You and I are one. You made yourself believe that you were out of me, are you? So what are you doing here? Want more crying. Go on. Cry. Cry here. You have nowhere else to go, Bryan. But here with me. Come on, go lie on the sand. Rush to the waves. Let them hit you dumb again. Let them. You can still feel, can you? Why are you such a puzzle? Can't you see? That's the way your life leads. You will be hurt, why are you so stupid that you cannot accept that? Why? Why are you so dumb? Just wake up from your miseries. Masochistic. Throwing yourself at cliffs. Fooling yourself. Stop living in your fantasy world, Harry Potter! Go on, hit your head on the trunk of this tree. Yes. More. Harder. It bleeds doesn't it? It hurts and it feels good. You like to hurt yourself don't you? You want to die, huh? No? Because you cannot feel any more pain? Stupid boy.
So what are you doing here then? Saying goodbye to me? To your fate? Throwing reality aside. Blinding yourself with impossibilities. Don't you understand? Can't you think? For God's sake, use your brain! You're always using your heart. So, yeah, you've realized your mistake? So why are you crying so bitterly? So painfully? You've made a fool of yourself in front of other people. In front of the one you want. You have no more face to show. Now, you're getting angry. Why? Because you are tired of being yourself. Yes, it's hard isn't it? Damned. Cursed. Marked. trying to fit in to the world of people when you cannot. Incapable of fitting in. Why don't you just stop trying to connect to people. Be a hermit. Isolate yourself. You'll only be getting more pain. More tears. Frustrations. Wishes. Why can't you learn to love yourself? Accept who you are.
Fuck me, huh? Hate me? Why? I am just telling the truth. Now do not go on crying here at the internet cafe. Do not bash on the keyboards. Don't smash this monitor. These are not yours. You do not have anyone, do you? Alone. Forever. Asking why others cannot understand. Asking how you can make them understand. Understand how you are in pain right now. I thought you were moving on? Fluff and nonsense. Might be true at that moment. But look at you now. Telling me you are just sad.. There has to be a reason, Bryan. There has to be a reason why you are yourself. Why you are such a.. Enough.
Look at the stars.. They are there. They hurt too when you are hurt. Especially when it is you who is hurting yourself. Try to find a different meaning in your life.. I am not telling you that you will succeed, just try. Try, Bry. Smile. Your home is still the beautiful island it has always been. I am here. I welcome you home, back to me. Cry here, on my shoulder. Yes. Let out all your grief. I am sorry I made you that way. Not everyone can handle that. You are special. One of my special children. Now you have gone away for too long. Come back to me, Bryan. Come back here. I will comfort you. I will help you in that. You have nowhere else to go to. No one will understand you completely except me. Come here, Bryan. Come back home to me, my son. Let it go. Let it go and cry on my shoulder. I understand. I will listen. Even if you cannot always hear my reply.. I am here. I have always been.
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