2 Heads

Lately I've been reading stuff about evolutionary psychology just out of curiosity. This relatively new field postulates that our behavior stemmed from the accumulated adaptations of our ancestors. The beneficial social traits which enabled our ancestors to survive better than the others were passed on through our genes, in a manner very similar to the more popular concept of "biological" evolution.

Parts of these concepts include explanations on how we choose our potential mates - from the requirement of physical fitness, youth, and fertility to maternal behavior to  how we react to emotional and sexual infidelity (yes there are scientific reasons for this). Learning about how we tick as a race proved to be illuminating yet distasteful for me at the same time. If what evolutionary psychology says proves to be true, then it shows us that we have been mere puppets of our genes all along. Of course, there is absolutely nothing weird about having evolved to survive better in a physical sense. What I find unpalatable is how our instincts, through our genes, are messing with our minds. All along, we thought our brains were always in control of our feelings and desires. That we are consciously aware of every decision that we make. But these recent findings, they tell us that we are but mere puppets of our DNA.

This puts my life philosophy in a very difficult conundrum. On one side, I can fully embrace my most innate desires (read: lust) since they are but natural drives for a human being to have. I can live my life in such a way as to satisfy every craving as long as I am not doing harm to others. Why fight it when these are as natural as hunger and thirst? On the other side, I hate how it contradicts my "higher" thoughts. I've read somewhere that what separates us from animals is our ability to control our basest drives. I can go ahead and sleep around until I drop dead from sheer exhaustion, but somehow, a part of me rejects this since I consider this low and shallow. Should I allow myself to be dictated by my genes, even if these evolutionary traits are now mismatched with our new environment?

Of course, I am only having this dilemma because our natural drives are not in my favor. People are naturally attracted to physically fit individuals, and this stems from the stone age idea of strength being synonymous to survival. But in this age, we know that this isn't as true as it was hundreds of thousands of years ago.

Just look at how we choose our partners. How much of it is due to our "purer" emotions, and how much is just plain old lust? How much is caring and how much is fucking? I think that most people who claim that looks does not matter are hypocrites. No matter how we promote "true love", we are still slaves of our ancient traits. And it is almost impossible to escape their trappings.

I look back on my relationships and realized how much my libido has led me to make a lot of wrong decisions, from the perspectives of my heart and my mind. I could have been theoretically romantically satisfied by now, if only I was able to control my headstrong and bullheaded dick. I have tried so hard to escape this predisposition but ultimately, these blasted genes have always won.

Sigh. I suppose the best that I can do is to find a compromise between my two heads. Find a balance between the rational and the carnal. No matter how we struggle, there are really some things which are beyond our control. Things like these make me realize that we are far from being flawless, and that we have a long way to evolve into becoming the "perfect" human beings that we strive to be.