Three Asterisks

I am once again in the mood to blog, yet I do not have anything in mind to tell you.

I am in a stable state right now. As Ive said I am buffered against feeling negative emotions at the moment. There is no angst for me to vent. I do miss telling you lots about what has happened. What has happened?

It was nice. It has been nice. Im feeling well. It seems weird though, like being in a relationship unconsciously stops you from dwelling on negative things. Its not like I have forgotten about my past miseries. It seems like they dont matter much anymore. I know they do and they should, and thats the weird thing about being in a relationship. You have something within you changed unconsciously. That makes sense to you?

Anyway what else to talk about? Oh yeah Im planning on doing another album for this sem. I already have a tentative title, but I dont want to reveal it now. It might easily change and I have two more months before its release. Did you know that I thought of naming last sem's album, "Back for More" as "Ever After", and "Wheat Field"? Ever After was actually my working title.

As usual, I am very excited about making this one. I am predicting changes, probably drastic, about the lineup since Im planning it too early. But I already have a concept about the cover. It will have to be a representation of me since the album is about me.

The coverage will be from november until march, so it will include both good and bad things. Some songs do not reflect how I feel at present, but they did at a certain period of my life so I will still include them. I hope those who had a copy of my previous album will enjoy this one as well. It wont be as sad as that one, I assure you.

Anyway, I am not that good a writer about good things as I am when writing about sadness. I do would like to share some things but they are not quite within the realm of decency, hence I should not put them here. Dont ever get the notion that nothing is happening in my life at present because I am not blogging about it. You should think that something too crazy is happening that I cant talk about it here (or perhaps I am doing something dangerous enough that it cannot be exposed to the public.)

Hey. I just realized that I can put anything in here. Even disturbing or disgusting things. Well, thats the power of blogging. Why dont people all blog? I guess some are just more inclined to write about their experiences rather than talk about them. Look at me, I am not a talker. Well, not in a person-to-person way. I talk a lot in my classes.

If I say that my girlfriend is <toot!> and that I am a <toot!> would you be surprised? If I tell you straight that I <tooted!> my <toot!> would you <toot!> me because of that? I am handling enough surprises for two people. I would have loved to know yours though. I would have liked to be in your shoes for a while and know how it feels to be you. Its a give and take relationship dammit. I tell you mine you tell me yours. I am sure your life is interesting. Why dont you talk to me?

I am crazy. I am just typing thoughts as they come to my head. I cant wait to plan for my new album. I cant wait. Its coming soon and it will blow your head off!

***I guess perhaps the reason why I am not writing too much at present is that I will not be the only one involved in my stories. I would have to consider which ones she will allow. Its not like shes forcing me not to talk about us. In fact, shes asking me to stop smoking and yet I cannot (addicted?) and I do not want to. Come to think of it - she is already a part of my life. I am usually egocentric and yet that realization sounds nice. I am not feeling choked, I am free. I am free - no relationship can cage me. And yet the limitations I have on myself are imposed by me and not by her. I think that should be the way relationships work. I mean, you can cheat anytime. You can do what you want. But you should bear in mind that what youre doing is hurting the other person. If you can bear hurting her then maybe you should rethink.