Hunk 3

My three months at the gym, were in the end, unsuccessful. I shrunk to my original size because of inanition these past few days - damn my diurnal sleeping pattern. One rice meal a day, not counting skipping meals because of laziness. Well, you can't really blame me if you wake up at 3 in the afternoon and decide that you're going to eat snacks instead of a real lunch since it's too late.

And you can't also blame me for skipping dinner during those insomnia days (like today) when I don't get any sleep despite lying in my bed the whole 6 hours from midnight til dawn. My eyes closed, but my mind refusing to cooperate and let me rest for good. It is a ridiculous waste of time - lying on my bed doing nothing. So I end up sleepy the whole day when I'm at work, and after my MS class, I go straight to my bed because of tiredness, and my dinner can go to the feral cats in the alley for all I care.

So there. The little weight I've gained the past weeks (and I did gain, mind you) evaporated like methanol under the hood. If I were to weigh myself now, I'm afraid I might be even lighter than before I started going to the gym.

But my gym trip wasn't completely useless. I know my body, and I believe I did gain some muscles (though you might need a microcaliper to measure them). I gained some calluses on my palms because of lifting, pulling, pushing weights, and all in all, it was a fun experience.

However, I do declare that it's unfair how the other guys in there who were considerably thicker than me to lift weights lighter than I do! Shame on them! I give lifting weights, especially the chest press and the shoulder press, my all! Lifting almost half my weight in those gigantic torture machines while they sweat out on barely a fourth of theirs! Sissies.

My only strength, I think is the ab machine because there I do better than those who are heavier than me. Oh, and I also do well on the leg press, leg curl, etc. My legs are not weak, it's my upper body which needs strength development. And shape, I have to admit.

Well, gone are the days dreaming that I'd be a hunk someday. It's hard going to the gym continually. You really have to be motivated. And my body is just not built like some other guys who are born with at least a modicum of muscularity. It's unfair. I have to start from almost zero... And I have to eat a lot just to gain a few pounds. Well, as I've said, I cannot have it all... All my muscles are in my brain I guess. And in my heart. And in... Ha! Never mind.

The thing is, really, there are some things I just can't control (like my zits for example). It isn't that I'm doing nothing about it, but I can only do so much because my genes command me to be skinny, pimply, whatever. Blast it! It is so unfair! I know I can be good-looking if only I could do something about those two! Aaaargh!

Well, I'm not really complaining though. I have a brilliant mind and an ego enough for three people. That should be more than enough compensation for what I lack in the Looks division. And I'd rather be ugly than dumb.

At least, my ugliness is temporary. Once I get enough money, I'll have personal advisers on my diet and hygiene, I'll be the bomb in no time at all. And what's more, I get to appreciate my looks because it's something that I have lost while others take theirs for granted.

Enough about vanity. Beauty fades anyway, but still, everyone tries to be as beautiful as they can be. I may not be a hunk, but I can be a punk. Or a humbug. Haha.