In This Deep

The problem with being a teacher is that a lot of people begin to know who you are - mostly your past students, or those students you do not know personally but who know you.

It feels great at times like when you're walking around in UP and almost always you'll encounter someone you know and they will always say "Hi!", but how about when you're drunk or when you're fooling around in public places? What's worse is that you're not really sure whether you were identified or not as a supposedly respectable instructor of the most revered University of the Philippines Diliman. So it's like you have to be on your guard at all times.

What I actually want to talk about is Cookie's exposure to the world. Ha! As if Cookie is not as famous as I am. Well... he's really not. Hehe. I'm not really very concerned about my students seeing us together (I've done far more scandalous things through this blog.) I just want to keep him away from the spotlight. I don't want him to be gossiped about. Ang feeling ko talaga. Ano ako artista?

After all the fame that I've accumulated the past year, this time I want to keep things quiet. I've had enough of gossiping. Like what Cookie told me, I want to settle down... temporarily.

Temporarily... That word hits my heart. Makes me shiver. Makes my eyes shine with wetness. No matter how small our chances are of making it through the end, that you are really "the one", baby, some things just do not bear talking about. No matter how logical you have explained it to me. No matter how clear you've presented my options, some things just can't bear being said without me getting hurt.

Anyway, all that was said days ago. Now, I'm just missing my baby. I miss sensing his presence when we're in the same room. You don't want me to feel sad I know, but when you're in this deep like me, you will not be able to help feeling this way.