Some people, they need to be anchored to the ground. Otherwise, they would fly away like a kite, into an infinite sky. As if infinity can be fully understood. Yet they fly all the same. Into the nothingness within one's mind, which can only be pictured as an infinite void. As if infinity can be pictured.
Some people, they need to be held back. Because they are obsessed with depths and breadths. And they tend to dig holes so deep they fall into them themselves. They tend to dig holes so wide that everything that they are, their totality, is sucked whole into that hole. And they get lost in the blackness within. They get confused because all along they thought they were only digging for treasures within themselves, only to find out that what they are doing instead is that they are digging their own, early graves.
Some people, they need to be around other people all the time. Because they need to be reminded that they are part of a whole. Because if left to themselves, they tend to forget that other people exist. Because without visual confirmation, they will succumb to their emotional alienation. Their minds and feelings are so disconnected from the others, they hardly feel that they belong to this world at all. So they need to see that they are not alone. All the time.
Some people, they need to be constantly reminded of hope. Because when one knows too much, one will tend to catch brief glimpses of the absurdity of life. And that is enough to make them fall into the nihilist's trap. They do know that such is not the most logical way to live one's life. But the awareness alone is enough to make death an attractive option.
Some people, they need to find a job. Not to make a living, but to find a semblance of living, at least in the mediocre sense. They need to busy themselves in the mundane and the material. To occupy one's mind with short-term goals and targets. To find a focus for their thoughts, no matter how insignificant it may seem. As compared to the world. As compared to the universe.
Some people, they need to find a lover. Not to be loved, but to keep them sane and grounded. To remind them of the existence of sensual pleasures. To remind them that it is possible to be happy with simple things and sweet nothings. To narrow down their view and to prevent them from looking outward. Look within. Look at me. Look at us. This is enough.
Some people, they cannot be helped. They can describe in detail what ails them. They can describe in detail what they need. They can ask for help even, and watch those who love them try. And yet all of these are mere motions to comfort those who worry about them. And they know for a certainty that some things cannot be fully healed except with an injury to one's memory. Always, the hardest battles, are those fought within. And yet they go through the motions still. Because they do not want others to worry about them too much. Because worrying is useless. Because helping them is useless.
Some say life is simply what you make of it. Some say happiness is a choice. Some say love or money solves everything. They can define life all they want, but some things can never be unchanged. That life is merely a glimpse of light between two infinite voids.
The quest to find meaning is like an amplified wave. The farther you go, you'll find that the crests become higher, but the troughs are lower still. To climb upward, one must always go down first. But every downward tread is bleaker than the last, and one cannot always find the momentum to go on. All one can do at this point is to close one's eyes and fly away from it all. Like a kite into a sea of sky, buried deep within one's mind.
If I had my way, I would have let go of myself by now. But you hold me fast with your love. You hold me down. So rest assured that the moment you let go, I'll be off to the sky within my mind where everything is to my liking. And I will never come back. Oh I will never come back.
"Too easy to cry, when everything eventually dies. If not today, then maybe tomorrow..."
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