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So I was surfing around the net and then I "stumbled upon" some very nice pics of boobs and I looked at them for a while, and then I looked some more and I felt weird like crazy and I wondered why and then boom, this realization just dropped on my head:
Boobs, yeah. They make me afraid.
But not in a scary freaked out way like earlier this night when a flying ipis grazed my arm while I was smoking and I shuddered (yes really) and I almost shrieked. No it's not that kind of icky fear. This thing that I have with boobs.
Well you see, I'm trying to be gay now through and through but I still think some boobs are nice to look at. I don't like the overly big ones though. I don't think they're very nice to look at, the monstrous ones, although I think if you put your palm around them they will feel nice. Maybe. I think I like boobs which are of the right size. The medium ones I guess.
But I don't think it's just the size of them which matters. It's the shape which is more important, for me. You can have boobs of the right size but if they've gone saggy or if they are pointing all wrong then I'm not sure that would be very appealing. They have to be firm and round. They have to look smooth and curvy. When I see pictures of women with an enticing cleavage I don't really wish to see them take their clothes off. I prefer to just look at it and appreciate their beauty and then move on. That is, assuming that I did notice their cleavage. They somehow lose their value when I see their totality. It's like what Leane Sedai said about seduction in the Wheel of Time. That in proper seduction, you must use subtlety and skill. Nudity uses neither.
I know that boobs are not meant simply to be looked at. They beg to be touched. Gently at first. Running your fingers on the exposed parts. Then lower until you're scooping them. Then later, you can get crazy on them if you want. I don't know what it is about boobs. But even if I'm not feeling particularly horny at the time, touching them triggers responses long buried deep within my body and beyond the reach of my conscious control. It's a curious experiment I'd like to recommend to my gay friends. Try it and see. For the sake of science.
It's like when I was in Grade 3 and I was reading this advanced zoology book my uncle unearthed from his chest of whatnots and I was trying to read it cover-to-cover (like I did the Bible) and I was already on the part about the mammary glands and breasts and the book was describing that it is usually smooth to touch and then I distinctly remember I got hard just from reading that. And mind you, it was not a children's book okay? It was a college-level book and it was all scientific and technical and all and I got hard from reading it! Crazy, right? I haven't had my wet dreams at that age so that's all the experience I gleaned from that if you're wondering whether I acted on it. It was very curious. I read about the male reproductive system too and I got no pleasure out of that, much less a hard on.
Speaking of males, well, of course I've also had my share of tomfooleries with chests. I like men with okay chests and that's understandable since I barely have a chest to speak of. It's a good thing I turned out to be a guy. I think that if I were a girl, my flat chest will probably be a bigger source of despair than it is right now. Or not. Since the way I am now, I'd probably have two kids already by this time. And two fathers.
I find it strange that I can write more about breasts than chests. With chests, there's nothing much to do really. You touch it. It doesn't need to be smooth. Hard or soft, they're okay. As long as there's something there, really, you'll be fine. I don't think I'm as much as an expert about them like one of my ex's who raised my shirt the second time we met and discussed details about my chest and how this deep part here would look impressive if I bulked up. I'm afraid I'm not like that when it comes to chests.
But legs, yeah, they are a different matter. And I think I can write on and on about legs and calves but that's not what this entry is about and I'm going to stop talking about them now. Maybe some other time.
Now I don't know how to end this entry properly. Maybe the moral lesson here is to let everyone know that just because someone is gay they are not attracted to breasts anymore. There are varying degrees of responses to it. I do know some gays who freak out about seeing breasts and would die at the idea of touching them. But maybe they're just too scared to try and they can't really say how they'd react unless they do it first. On second thought, I don't recommend mutual breast-touching to become another form of bonding between gays and their gals. I can't do that, if someone were to dare me. I can't because there's still this part of me which will not take it without malice.
And no, I'm not going to wrap this up by being sentimental about this difficult path of bisexuality in front of me. We're having too much fun about boobs to kill the moment. The moral of the story? Boobs are good. Straight or gay, boobs are good.
My, but anatomy sure makes them look so undesirable in this image.
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