Prophecy

My Friendster horoscope for the day: "You have to let yourself let go of someone -- and let go of your disillusionment."

If this piece of random advice was referring to O (whose pic I still had to include for this summer album's cover), then it is totally inaccurate because I already had let go of him. (Gosh, I still couldn't quite believe it.) Some nights ago, while I was restlessly tossing and turning on my bed being my nocturnal self, I had this blog idea which was supposed to start like this:

So, you think you have moved on from me? What recklessly madeup mindset makes you say that? You cannot deny the extent of my power over you - that even a pale memory, my mere shadow, alpha, already confuses your mind and heart. What makes you say that this will be any different with your past relationship? I've destroyed you and her, I can do that again with you and him.

...or something a bit more intense than that. You see, I've completely lost the thread of that supposed entry, so much so that the few thoughts I was able to recall now seem pale and insincere... It's hard for me to write about stuff which I am not really feeling at the moment.

But why did I still nourish that idea when I've already said that O was gone? My honest answer to that is - I'm testing myself. In fact, if he suddenly showed his pretty face here and a "not-so-wholesome" offer hung in the air, I think I might refuse. I will refuse. He might be drop dead hot true, but I don't want to do... that with a jerk! (cringes)

Anyway, I was about to talk about a prophecy about me. A prophecy I made for myself about six years ago when I was still a high school senior. It was in my Values Ed class. My teacher, Miss Nabong (whose surname by the way, is the same as my middle name, although we aren't blood-related... let's just say that it adds mystery to the prophecy)  asked us to write a "book" about our lives, starting from our birth to our magnificently planned deaths. Back then, I couldn't quite see the academic point of the whole thing, but I had to do it because I cannot question her actions (it was high school ya know), but I think she was just eager for gossip.

The way I wrote my past was more or less accurate because I asked my mom questions. I even included something which happened before I was born. A weird thing - that I cried while I was still inside my mother's womb. It happened in November, a few days before I was born, so that supports the idea that my vocal chords were already developed at the time. My parents, egged on by my grandmas, being more of the superstitious sort than the scientific, believed that it may have been caused by their previous visit in the cemetery. That perhaps a malignant spirit was hurting their baby - hurting me.

But last year, I've read in "One Hundred Years of Solitude" that crying in the womb is a sure sign of an incapacity to love. When I read that part, my hair (my body hair at least) stood on end. It was really weird because it went shockingly near the truth about me. And right now, I still can't say for sure whether the book was wrong or not about me. (My baby might just disagree a bit. Hihihi!)

Moving on, I got most of the things about my future wrong. Like in there, I said that I wasn't going to UP for college, (because while I was writing, I was mistakenly told that I failed the UPCAT) and that the course I took was Chemical Engineering. I was vague about my adult life, because my imaginative brain wasn't as creative as it is now. But something else stuck to mind about what I wrote after all these years - that the person I am going to spend the rest of my lifetime with will have a name which starts with the letter (gasp) D!

Doubts and sneers suddenly appear on your face. How did I choose that letter? I took a paperback novel and opened it in the middle. The page number I saw must have contained a 4, which will correspond to the letter D. Though at that time, I was not as gay as I am right now, and I mentally sifted through a list of people I know, especially my female classmates whose name begins with that letter, and I landed on possibly marrying my close friend, Diana. The idea didn't repulse me, but it didn't excite me either. Way back then, it seemed a bit unlikely because I was still heavy on someone else (a different girl).

Well, the catch of this whole thing is, that my boyfriend's name starts with D. Which is at the least... quite sweet. Hihihi!

But it's not like I actively made my prophecy come true. I met my baby in a virtual place (for people like us), and his codename there isn't his real name. And when he did tell me his real name, the prophecy was not in my mind so I wasn't attacked by sudden intakes of breath and oh-my-gulays. Actually, I only remembered it last February, on the bus while I was taking him home.

I can still remember that afternoon when I told him. We had some tiny misunderstandings on that trip. I was silent, and he was urging me to talk but I didn't feel like it so I kept silent. And then suddenly, the prophecy flashed in my mind, and when I told him about it some minutes later, my voice was deeper than usual because I was in earnest. It was really weird to recall it in such a time! And I can remember him looking a bit afraid when I turned to face him because perhaps, he thought, I will be saying something angry. I was that serious-looking.

He was understandably doubtful, but I have my proof. The book of my life (I named it "D. I.") ---> Hey can this also stand for Dusk at Red Island? What a mystical life!!! The book still exists and I can show it to you to prove that I am not lying. Or perhaps you can ask Joy Flores, I let her read it two years ago.

But this entry still isn't over. The catch of the catch is...

...

O's real name also starts with D.

(Gasp!)

The question is: Which do you believe the prophecy pertains to?

***

P.S.

I like this entry because as it talks about magical stuff like prophecies, even beginning with a horoscope, the entry itself has magic. It surprises.

But you will not be surprised if you don't even know who O used to be. Too bad.

And about babies crying inside wombs, I did some research and found out that babies can make noises while still unborn, though it isn't exactly the same with our general concept of "crying".