Summaries, Conclusions, and Abstracts

About my students

I am not very pleased at some of my students who did not show during our supposed last bonding moments. It is sad to realize that no matter how dedicated you are to making them feel how much they matter to you, some just don't reciprocate. The bottomline is - I just do not matter to them enough for them to leave their comforts even if I've said it will be the last time we'll all be together.

But I am really happy with those who came: Ivy, Rai, Fatima, Clarisse, Gail, Tadz, Jay-ray, Mark, and Christian, my 28.1 studes; and AV and Nevin, my 16 MTh studes. They gave me the time and effort I was asking despite their hectic scheds and their exams. I consider these guys to be my real students because they've learned that friendship is way more important than exams, or being scolded at by your parents. Their love will always be accepted and cherished, and is infinitely worth more than those who I wasn't able to reach through. It's true what they say: you win some, you lose some.

About O

Amazing how our last conversation really concluded whatever I was feeling for him. Doreen was right - all I was looking for was a closure to the "emotional fiasco" he has brought upon me. I've already accepted that I acted the fool in prolonging what I was feeling for him, but I am not saying I was dumb because he was partially at fault too. If he but answered my previous attempts at contacting him, this would have ended sooner. The heart really is unreliable...

About alpha

My recent "date" with alpha somehow helped in the healing process. Some days ago, I had the chance to get to know him a bit more, and despite his physical similarities with O, their views about friendship were completely opposite. Alpha even mentioned that he could cry when watching animes dealing with that particular topic, while O, from his actions, completely didn't care. But it isn't like my past feelings for O will be completely transferred to this new person. Alpha helped me erase all traces of O from the "crush region" in my heart and strangely, by doing that, he erased himself as well.

Note: This previous paragraph will help identify who alpha is but I really don't care because it's not a big deal, and whatever it was, it's over. I'm sure that alpha, if he's reading this, is big enough to understand these things and will not feel uncomfortable at the least.

About my parents

I disappeared from Friendster for a time because I went home to my parents' at Las Piñas. I realized that the atmosphere in the house changes when I'm there - as if the master of the house is present and they are but servants! Haha... I was exaggerating. I've mentioned this before, but they really do take care of my needs during my brief stay there. And the meals! My Mom does know what I like to eat (no veggie stews, or fish.) Maybe they do miss me. My brother, however, still wishes me gone from there, not even keeping his voice low when he asks my parents when I'm going back to UP. But as he is "not right in the head", perhaps his thoughts doesn't really count.

About the new neighbor

During my brief stay there, I "discovered" this new hunky neighbor who was staying two houses over. It was a hot afternoon when I went out to our store to smoke, and just outside cleaning their family car was this teenage... mutant ninja turtle? (As my baby would say... Nyek!) This teenage buff. I've seen him before, mind, but I've never seen him topless (thank goodness it's summer) and I was, to say the least, very pleased at what... chiseled features my eyes landed on . My mom was perhaps a bit bewildered why I was sitting there at the store because I never went there while it's still hot. To my dismay, the eye candy shortly went back to the house and let his father do the rest of the work. Well, this really isn't very important, but it would add a bit of excitement during my few days of staying at my parents'.

About our relationship

It might be confusing to my readers, the way I freely talk about O, alpha, or even the neighbor (should I assign him a letter now?) as if I am not in a relationship. Don't I care about how my boyfriend will feel? Well, of course I do, but these are but trivial things for me. They are not important enough to be kept as secrets and I have the confidence that these will not affect our relationship. On the ride back here to KNL, I was thinking about us. True, I develop crushes every now and then but they are but crushes, and they are normal in relationships (don't be a hypocrite, you do look at people other than your mate.) What I need is someone deep, someone who can navigate my labyrinthine mind and heart like how my baby does, and my crushes almost always fall short in that area.

Now, this next is a rather deep confession: one of the things I enjoy most about courtship is the chase. LE told me that once I've made this person say yes to me, my feelings ebb off. That is often true, but luckily, with my baby, he has a way of making me feel that he is not within my hands even after all this time. At times, it's like I'm still chasing after him, in a way, and that, I think, is one of the key things which makes our relationship last, aside from the fact that I am now more knowledgeable and mature when it comes to relationships.

About Haziel May's comment on "F. A. Q."

Wow, I've never been called "seductive" before. I would just like to express my gratitude that she takes the time to analyze me because that is one of the primary reasons I'm writing in here - to get some feedback. Thanks to those who continue to read my blog, especially those who posts comments every now and then.