On Fire

Sometimes there are times when I feel so high. Times when listening to "Forca" makes me raise my arms, and say "Hey, I'm alive! Com uma forca!" Times when I feel like doing an Oble pose, opening my arms to the electric light in the apartment living room, my eyes closed, and simply feeling happy, enjoying the moment. Enjoying these positive emotions crashing through my heart and body.

It just amazes me that, hey, I'm finally experiencing real happiness here. That, hey, you know the old Bry, the old emotional maniac who's filling your email with notices of entries close to suicidal madness? Well, he's gone. I don't know where he went to. The new Bry here, is, you know, he's just so alive. He's like clapping his hands and jumping and typing like he's never known how to be really happy before.

Things are just so going well for me at the moment. For one, I have this really great job. I'm gaining lots of new friends. I get to share a lot of things to my students. I don't just teach Chem. I teach them about Life and Love. I teach them about Thoughts and Emotions. Like how the saying goes, "We teach more by who we are than by what we teach."

Sometimes, it just crashes into me like crazy, like hey, so what if I don't have a high-paying job? So what if I can't go abroad just yet? Do you experience what I'm feeling right now? Like have you ever been in this state? It's like, look at me, teaching is my passion. I like to teach. I see the nobility in my job. I see it's higher purpose. How about you? Is there any point in trying to sell items, or working in the lab doing routine work?

It's like, hey, I'm having fun teaching you know. I like to interact with my students. I get through them. In just a few meetings, we can become friends. As in real friends. Not just the polite thing that most students and teachers do. When I say close, I mean close like we share our deepest feelings. There's absolutely no barrier. We can cry, in the presence of each other, and we will not feel uncomfortable. Can you imagine doing that to someone you've only met for a week?

And that's not it you know. It's not only me who's enjoying teaching. My students like me back. They miss me. They appreciate what I do. They cherish the friendship we've developed. They don't want it to end, and what's more they remember me. I'll never be that "sino nga ba yun?" teacher. It's just so warming to feel that the people you care about also cares about you? Have you ever experienced that?

It's just like, you know, amazing, that I am able to experience this kind of life. That I've never thought that my adult life will be so fulfilling. I just feel so lucky to have the perfect job. The job which is right for me. A job where, aside from letting me do what I like to do. Aside from giving me room for my creativity, it gives me the chance to touch other student's lives. It's like, hey, I'm affecting lives here you know. I'm instilling happy memories into these students. What more can you ask for in a job?

I mean, in the end, who cares about that goddam salary? I'm happy with my own. I'm happy because the friendship I get in return from teaching is worth than any amount of money you can offer me. I'm gaining trust, love, friendship, and acceptance. I'm gaining laughter, tears, smiles, and memories. What more can I ask for in a job?

I was going to talk about more... About how things are going so well between me and my baby these days. Pero sa amin na lang muna yun! Hihihihihi!

Yun lang, I'm just happy. High. And I'm shouting because I've never been in this state before. Like the person you love, loves you back? Like gaining friends? Like having fun? Like having internal peace? Like being yourself and not caring about what others say?

Top of the world, is that you?

Hahahaha! Woooohooooooo!!! I love you all!

:)