Turning 22

I hate these days. These few remaining hours before my birthday comes. Normally, I would be excited since... well, it's my birthday. (I'm turning 22!) But I seem to take more notice of the days after my birthday. It will be one whole year til November 20 comes around again. A long wait.

My 20th birthday was special. We went on a trip to Lori's in Nueva Vizcaya. It was also her birthday, so we decided to celebrate it together (although I financially contributed nothing, I had no money.) Chie-chie made that birthday really memorable. The trip as it is was great - we had road trips, went to parks, looked at scenic mountains. The food was abundant since the place was dominated by hilly farms. I had a brief taste of how it was to live in the province.

Holding hands on the van, Chie-chie and I practically acted like we were in a relationship. It was like I was in heaven then. The foggy and cold air added to the illusion-like quality of our trip. My 20th birthday was dedicated to friendship.

My birthday last year was a bit more boring, although I still got a kiss on the forehead from (secret!), a Gwen Stefani drawing from the same person, and a surprise birthday cake from my favorite Chem16 class. I had a new fone (my Motorokr, which I would lose 3 weeks after) so I was also materialistically satisfied. I went home to my parents' that day. I bought some cake and ice cream for my own small party. My mom made some pancit and our family had a small celebration with my cousin Ate Giz and her boyfriend as the only guests.

I also bought two numeral candles on my Red Ribbon cake (2 and 1, which i excitedly placed on the cake), and Ate Giz volunteered to take a picture of me as I blew off the candles. I was probably too small to remember when I first did that, so it was kinda like a first. My cousin volunteered to take a picture of that moment, but she wasn't able to capture it the first time so I had to do it again. I stuffed myself with food. We laughed and talked, and ate more. It was my first birthday with me earning money so it felt a bit nice, eating food bought from money I earned. With my family near me, happy and content, I was able to forget the difficulties I was having with Hunter and Chiyo. My 21st birthday was dedicated to my family.

Which leads me to my 22nd birthday coming this Monday... Have I changed much through my college years? Did I become more mature? Wiser and more experienced with each additional year?

I am getting older... We are all getting older everyday. I'm just glad that I was able to catch up with some of my high school friends who, back then, was cruelly pushing me to grow up fast. And now, look at me! I was able to surpass everything that you've done! You didn't think I would survive UP Diliman, didn't you? Survive my identity crisis? I've done so much more. Went through so much more experiences. I've performed better, excelled in almost everything I've put my mind into - academic, social, political, sexual, fame, love. I can only laugh at those who used to belittle me since I've proven that I can be a better person than what they judged me to be.

My 22nd birthday hasn't come yet but I already know where I'm dedicating it to. I've celebrated it with friends, with family. This time I'm going to experience it with my baby. It will be Monster's birthday this Monday, but I've already received the best gift that I could ever have three weeks in advance.

My 22nd birthday is dedicated to love.