Say No

Perhaps most of you, if not all, have had secret fantasies of encountering an aged old woman in the streets or of finding an ancient lamp-like relic which will grant us three wishes. I think everyone have been asked about what those three wishes would be, and we always get excited carefully thinking about them even if we know that that will never happen.

Yet somehow, we never lose hope in believing that perhaps one day, when reality loses its grip in our lives, that we may, indeed, meet the fairy godmother we've been waiting for all our lives. That one day, we will get lucky, and we will say goodbye to the things which we think prevents us from being really happy.

Money, I guess, tops the list, as well as the things that it can buy. With today's technology, you can now ask to look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie with enough money. But some do wish for more humane things like finding their perfect man or woman to love forevermore, their soulmate, or even just some really nice friends. Some wish for popularity, for intelligence, for supernatural powers, or for a more outgoing character. The list goes on, and the choices are limited only by the wisher's imagination. But has it ever occured in your secret fantasies of getting the chance to have your wish fulfilled, to proudly confront your genie and say with audacity, "No thanks, I'm happy with who and what I am right now."

Such a situation perhaps would be a fairy tale among fairy tales. Fairy godmothers have never been rebuffed. Genies have never been waved away like smoke. Our bottomless yearning for more may be one of our natural characteristics, regardless of where in our planet we live. Very few will have the courage to say no to the chance they've been waiting for all our lives.

This idea suddenly came to me while I was riding in the ever faithful Ikot jeepney. Will I be able to say "no"?

On an impromptu reflection right there on the jeepney, I realized that I might be one of those people who have the most reasons to change their lives. First, I could have wished for more money, so that I'll be able to buy, at least a bed, and buy enough food so that I can finally gain weight. I can ask to have my face restored to what it used to be, so that I can regain the confidence I used to have when I was younger. I can ask to give myself perfect health, to restore my brother's sanity, to give my parents enough wealth so that they can stop working. I can ask to have my baby around so that I won't miss him often, or what's more, I can ask for a normal sexuality, so that I can finally get married, have children, and have a happy retirement surrounded by my grandchildren.

With wishes granted, my life then, will be so much better than what I have now, yet it did occur to me that I might have said no. It would appear very illogical to spurn away a chance to live a better life, but that is because we base the improvement of our lives on our comforts and conveniences.

Life, for me, is about building your character. We're like swords or knives being subjected to intense heat and force by the blacksmith which is life. With each problem that we face, we gain experience points (like in DotA) which, in the future, will make us prepared for what is more to come. If I choose to leave behind, without a struggle, the problems which are shaping me to be the man I will be in the future, it's as if I cheated myself of the things which, in the end, will change me for the better.

That's why I somehow pity those who are very rich, or those who have reason to say that their lives are almost perfect. They are missing a lot about the real meaning of living, and I believe that some of them, will turn out to have very weak characters.

Because I am sleeping without a bed, I have learned to appreciate the value of sleeping (which isn't really about comfort, it's who you're slleping with that makes your sleep more restful. Right, baby?) Because I am not phsically attractive, I have learned to screen away unsuitable partners (only those who have sight to see the real me beyond what they're seeing with their eyes are fit to go into relationships with me.) Because I have not been born with a straight sexuality, I have learned that it is possible to find happiness beyond religion and society's rules of normalcy.

I am thankful that I have a far from perfect life because it gives me the direction and purpose I need to live my life as meaningfully as I can. So why should I wait for a fairy godmother if I'm already living the best life I can possibly live? Why should you either?

Just say no, and don't believe that through impossible wishes you're life will get any better because the way you are living it right now is the way it was meant for you to live.

Or maybe, this is our way of convincing ourselves of that lie.