Changes

NOTE TO THE READER: Because of the suggestive and informal nature of Cookie's new nickname (Yummy), I decided to change yet again what I will call him in my future entries. I noticed that using "Yummy" in some of my more serious entries (e.g. in "A Reason for Religion") destroys the effect of the mood I wanted to convey to the reader. From now on, Cookie will be known simply as "D".

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It seems like my New Year's Resolution has been made for me with the recent and still bitter loss of my fone. My hours have become more empty and a whole lot less exciting. At times, I still unconsciously feel my right pocket to check the rectangular bulge that isn't there anymore. I still pause every now and then while listening to music, thinking that my groovy message alert tone has rung but was masked by Gwen Stefani or Nelly Furtado's song.

My fone has been a part of my life for six months, and a lot of things I've done before wouldn't have been possible without it. It's loss goes beyond the loss of material things and it's like losing someone real, someone alive. It has been my inanimate bestfriend. It was there when I was at my lowest and  my highest. It was there when I was lonely and when I felt loved. It has been my connection to my family, my friends, to D. My fone means (or meant) a lot to me.

I know I'm going to survive, and I don't think I would cry for losing my fone, but I also know that I'm going to face lonelier nights from now on. My fone was the reason why I got through those days when I was missing D very much. Even if our time together was limited, communicating through my fone made me feel that he was less distant. Made me feel his presence. Through my fone, I made him feel that I was right there beside him. What am I going to do now that it's gone?

A useless waste of words you might think. I can easily buy a new fone, and it isn't like I will not be able to communicate with him through other means. I know all that, and the loss of my fone isn't really that bad as I make it appear. I just wanted to emphasize the fact that humans (me included) do feel attachment for objects not only because of their value or of their function, but also because of the memories we've attached to it that slowly fades away too with the object's loss.