Wamuffet

This is the original poem I wrote to Chiyo last year. Back when she was back with her other one. Funny how it seems.. reading it now. It's like this was from a long long time ago. "It's written in our boarding house. It's written near the door..."


We've had our share of letters
So I'll try to write a poem
Although I think its better
If I go and write a song
But since we know I cannot play
An instrument or two
I think I should just contact Hale
To make a song for you


I'm writing this while listening
To that song we both like
It's really quite amusing
Since I don't know how to write
How can I tell you everything
When words are limited?
How can I show this feeling
When I'm lying in my bed?


I don't know where I want to start
I write what comes to mind
Now that we are both apart
I don't know what is right
When you're not here I'm missing you
When you are sad, I'm sad
I know you have no room for two
You stayed with who you've had


When I see him with you I hide
This envy in my heart
Whenever you are by my side
I'm trying not to fall apart
It's hard not to do the things
You dearly want to do
I think it has become quite clear
That I'm not over you


I know we've said that we'll be friends
It's wrong to tell you this
If this is where our friendship ends
You will be solely his
I don't know what is wrong with me
This feeling should have ended
But then this would hardly matter since
It's you who has decided


I cannot change just how things are
I cannot turn back time
All I can do is give my heart
Knowing nothing's fine
I hope this poem can never change
Our current situation
I'm just a fool who's trying to make
The most of his small station


I'm sorry I keep hurting you
I'm sorry this is me
I can't control I can't keep cool
It is a part of me
I'm not expecting anything
I just want you to know
That there resides in my heart still
A place for us to grow


But you may think it's out of place
For me to tell you this
When “he” was in my thoughts for days
Is he the one I miss?
The first night I contacted him
Was a night he brought you home
To keep my vision getting dim
I picked up my phone


I used him to distract myself
From you and him and me
I used him to drown myself
In foolish misery
I used him to forget
That night in my bed
I used him to forget
The tears that we both shed


I know I cannot have you R***
I know we cannot be
I really wish I still can pray
So you can be with me
If things are fixed the way they are
There'll still be no regrets
I'd still love you the way you are
I wish you all the best