Smile

The Run done, I thought of going to Chemsoc to have a quick yosi break. And as if there wasn't enough events for one day, guess who I encountered in AS walk? Tadaa! None other than him. But being the usual jerk that he was, he didn't notice me. He was smiling (how he likes to flash those pearly whites everywhere!) as he was looking at some of the Shock Value posters, his neck deliberately tilted so that he would avoid looking at me. Or maybe he just didn't notice me (but it would destroy the effect I am trying to achieve with this paragraph, so let's just assume that he ignored me, smiling.)

It was almost the perfect scene for the middle part in Dido's "White Flag":

And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

He walked past, and I turned my head to look at him again because I couldn't quite believe it was really him. If somebody I knew saw me then, they'd probably say, from the expression on my face, "Why Bry, you're flabbergasted! What happened?" And why was he in AS at that time? I think he watched the Run, that's why he was smiling like that! Hehehe!

I went inside the Chemsoc tambayan, and said hello to my friends. When I got to the open area at the back, I immediately lit up a stick, expecting I would need it. But I needed no such thing, it turned out. I was calm, if a bit excited over the Oblation Run and the shouts accompanying it. But at that time, I was more concerned about me hungry tummy. I was expecting more, I said to myself repeatedly "Hey, isn't that him you just saw?" Nothing. No effect.

But you know, reader, if I have moved on, should I still be talking about it here?

I am holding on to you not because I love you... But because I failed to get you, and that - my failure - is what I cannot accept to myself. And to my readers.

The next time I see you, and I fervently hope for that time to come because I want to redeem myself. I want to smile at you. Make you see that I am in my own heaven without you
And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

And I will smile. I won't forget to smile. It wouldn't be that flashy as yours though. It would be more like a slight quirking of the corners of my lips. My small expression to say that "I hate you! You've made a fool out of me, but that's cool. You did what you have to do. I did what was meant for me to do. So we're quits. By the way, you look great."

And then I'll walk ahead (stopping by to talk is out of the question unless it is you who'll ask me to), and you'll do the same, at a faster rate perhaps, but I know we'll still be thinking about each other for a few more seconds before we figuratively get ourselves lost in the crowd of students... and teachers.

***
Check this one out... It's an excerpt from one of my favorite books... This is one of those reads which made me cry... Read "The Colour of the Wheat Fields" .