Who would like to read about something so taboo, it shouldn't even be written nor read?
Who would like to read about the insufferable drama of a UP Instructor so frustrated about his life to the point that he becomes blinded to everything else?
Who would like to read about another failed attempt for a person who wants to go out in the world and know himself?
Who would like to read about the rantings of a person, a teacher you once knew who keeps on blogging, almost everyday, when you have enough problems of your own?
Who would like to take a part of what I'm feeling right now, bursting last night about what his supposed-to-be "answer" finally coming and then knowing at the last moment that it wouldn't happen after all?
Who would like to feel foolish about himself, blurting everything out here to the eyes of the world and getting no consolation, no words of support?
Who would like to feel desperate, trying vainly to regain his former self, losing it, then trying to regain what was lost too late?
Who would like to never learn from his past mistakes, never learning what the words caution and moderation are for?
Who would like to realize that the most important persons in your life aren't happy for you?
Who would like to be the source of shame of their parents?
Who would like to feel being left out?
Who would like to feel being played upon?
Who would like to feel restless?
Who would like to get no answers?
Who would like to hope and fail?
Who would like to feel that nobody cares about the most important issues about you?
Who would like to be me?
Answer me because I'm serious, who would like to be me?!
Would you like to be me reader?
You think I don't notice your secret smiles, your knowing eyes everytime I come across you?
You think I don't notice how you read my blog avidly and yet do nothing to help me out of this, content to ponder that at least these things did not happen to you?
You think I don't know how much you gossip about me?
You think I'm crazy?
Well then, so be it!
Who would like to feel foolish about himself, blurting everything out here to the eyes of the world and getting no consolation, no words of support?<<---lots of people care about you. you just don't notice and you just don't listen.
ReplyDeletebakit kaya hindi natin pinag-uusapan to sa bahay? perhaps we are afraid to show our emotions...and we prefer them to be written instead...
ReplyDelete...as for your concerns bry, i'm sure something will come out of it...it may not be the best thing from your point of view, but it is the best according to the mystery of time...
...we don't live in a world of fixed future, that's why there is dynamism in our lives...upheavals, monotony at some point, ruptures of happiness...part of our live's dynamism...
...you still have a life ahead...live and just forge ahead...