Something Hardens

I've been teaching chemistry for the fourth year now and through those semesters I have developed a teaching style which I've proven to be fun and effective - based on my students' replies. If you've been my student, as the majority of my Multiply and Friendster contacts are, then you will understand what I'm talking about. But this past semester was different.

I have always taken a private pride in my SET scores, and though I might not get the highest score in the whole Institute, I am pleased whenever I get at least an average rating. Students may not realize this but some teachers really take those SET's very seriously. I am one of them. I like my job that's why, and every semester I try to do something new in order to improve my teaching skills based on the SET feedback.

This semester was the beginning of a big change in Chem 16 as it heralded the use of bigger classes. Instead of the usual 40 or so students, lecture classes have been expanded into accomodating up to 80 students separated into four lab sections. It was an experiment for the whole Institute, since from my knowledge, this hasn't happened in Chem classes before (except perhaps for CWTS). I was under a lot of pressure especially since I was assigned as the Chem 16 lecture coordinator (which reminds that I have yet to make the removal exam tsk tsk).

Anyway, I was lucky to have really great lab instructors "under" me. With the three of them (I was handling one of the lab sections), we made Chem 16 into Potions 16 and divided the class into the four Hogwarts houses. I had a lot of fun, as I usually do in Chem 16, and it's mostly because of my very cooperative colleagues. Our semender party was a blast! From the thank you's and love I was getting from my Potions 16 students, I thought I did a great job, until I saw my SET that is.

SET's weren't supposed to be given this early yet but we were allowed to have temporary copies of them during an evaluation meeting. I do not mean to brag but I am pleased to have a high score, considering that I'm taking the average of about 80 students here. I read the comments and was glad at the usual heartwarming ones. There were bad comments in which I had no control like making the class smaller, going on trips, etc, And to my very ill surprise, I read this one comment about how the course can be improved saying: "It's stupid! Teach in a way all students can relate to." Or something nearly like that.

This comment wasn't detailed but I suppose this had something to do with the Harry Potter theme or my relaxed teaching style or my openness about myself. I think it's the former though. I also believe that this same student was the only one who marked me as "one of the worst" UP teachers he/she has ever had. And that was only about the second or third time I was marked as that.

It really breaks my heart to hear such things from my students. It really does, considering that I do my best to make them understand not only the lessons but why I'm digressing and other stuff.

I was having this conversation through text with one my students just this past semester and she shared her views about this saying that I care too much about what other people say, that if I believe that I'm doing the right thing why should it bother me, and that the students are entitled to their opinions.

What surprised me here is not the comment itself actually but that there are really some "unkind" students out there. Ever since, I've given my best whenever my students need extra help - I can go out of my way just to make them learn as long as they have the initiative to ask - and yet some students can really go on and hurt your feelings despite everything you've done for them. Some still do not understand no matter how you try to explain and make things clear. And I did explain! My Potions 16 students cannot gainsay me in that.

It bothered me a lot, so much so that I pondered on changing my style this coming semester. I thought of how I'd teach my subject without making it fun or without making friends with my students. I thought of giving my next students all work and no time for reflections on life and love. I will give them no albums. I will arrange them no semender party. I will make them forget me. Maybe if I did that, nobody will call me stupid anymore?

I want to break the norm, I told the student I was chatting with. I want to teach more than chemistry and I want to be an example.

And then she told me hours later, as an "aftertext", that if I were to break the norm about students and teachers then I should be strong. How can I do that if with one harsh criticism I break down to pieces?

That was when it hit me - she was absolutely right. She got it. I know I cannot please everybody with my personality. I suppose some really do hate me for whatever reasons they may have. But as long as I believe I am doing nothing wrong and the majority of my class agrees with me and benefits from my way of teaching, I should push through with what I am doing.

I realized it just now. I thought teaching would be a breeze. I thought that, with my style, I will encounter no barriers. Well, I am smarter now. I realize that I cannot win everybody's hearts. I realize that I should be thankful that at least most of my students understand me and think kindly of me. I should be thankful that I have so many friends out of my former students that it is actually very difficult now to keep in touch with ALL of them. I realize now that I should use such criticisms to make myself stronger and be a better teacher and ultimately, a better person.

I won't let that one student put me down.

I won't let that student stop me from spreading openness and awareness and clarity.

I am sorry I wasn't able to make that student comprehend my message, but that shouldn't stop me from fostering those who did.

I am a teacher.

I am a mentor.

I have a mission.

And I believe.

(BOW)

***

"Happy Teachers Day" my mom texted me earlier. How heartwarming.

A shoutout to all my past students there! I miss you all!

We may not be foremost in each other's thoughts anymore but I still remember.

I remember.

We had our days and they will always be in my heart no matter if some consider it stupid.

Chem 16 OX3

From my siz, Yanie! Para nman ma-preserve natin
:)

Chem 16 OX3 class ka kung alam mong...

1. si sir BRYAN CHRISTIAN DE LA ISLA ang BEST PROF (at friend) sa balat ng UP (yeah!)
2. madami kang natutunan sa chem, pero mas madami kang natutunan sa LIFE :D
3. ang class ay binubuo ng lahat ng klase ng tao. may freshies at oldies (haha!), may mga single, taken at married, ibat' ibang colleges at kung ano ano pa.
4. first impressions DEFINITELY never last. right?
5. may mga loveteams na nabuo. yiheee~
6. computerized dapat ang postlab. nakakadugo ng everything ang kakatype ng equations na punong puno ng subscripts at superscripts.
7. minsan naman walang postlab, basta (uy secret!)
8. kung depressed ka and you need a friend (or a tool), tawagin mo lang si ano (hahaha!)
9. may mga taong high ang entropy! pwedeng choco ube, punongkahoy or summery-citrus.
10. crush ni ________ si ally at si _________ naman si carlo.
11. merong mga taong twenty nine na pala pero hindi halata. (uuy nakangiti na yan~)
12. magaling magimpersonate si (pastor) Gino. soooper. as in 500 yoke of oxen.
13. kahit tumayo ka lang sa harap ni anna, tatawa na sya for 30 minutes.
14. highest na, social pa! yan si sister chinee.
15. isang araw may 'mystery guy' na nagsit-in sa lec at nagtatanong kung may possibility na mag split-up ang nucleus if it gets too excited.
16. sa last day ng class ay sinurprise ni ano si ano :D may mga nagselos kaya? hmm..
17. "Hi girls!" ang famous line ni RA.
18. may unggoy at zebra sa village nila carlo. promise.
19. masarap ang pagkain sa ate Fe's.
20. official meeting place na ang Ipil.
21. madaming artista sa class. andyan si Mar rivera, Ara mina, Renz verano, Carlo maceda, Gino padilla, B. Allyson, Glynel mercado at Yanie curtis :P
22. huwag mong sisirain ang mga plants or papatayin ang mga insects. baka boyfriend yun ni ano. HAHA!
23. marlboro lang ang yosi dati ng mga tao, pero tinuruan kami ni mayamang ally ng dunhill. kaya ngayon, "Marlboro? Ew."
24. precious ang "trunks pic" ni RA. madami nang 'papuri' ang naani ng picture na yon.
25. pag inipon mo ang pakalatkalat mong pera, aabot ito ng 700. (yaman eh!)
26. hindi ready si nikki nung sumama sya sa mimosa. wala syang shampoo, sabon, etc., pero may dala syang dalawang pares ng two-piece.
27. official bahay ang Burgundy place unit 605. required na makalat ang kwarto bago umalis. (Go papa ally!)
28. kulang pa sa evolution ang boyfriend ni ano. tttrrrrrrrrrr~ (yuck ansama :P)
29. masugid manligaw si migz. (go go go!)
30. deadly ang gin-sumthing mix ni ate lai. literal.
31. pwedeng chaser ng vodka ang okra. (hahahaha!) sa susunod na yung gin-talong at beer-ampalaya.
32. madrama ang rainbow's end album. pero that's it, DRAMA OVER! :D
33. gusto mo ng adobo! basta gusto mo ng adobo! XP
34. may mga 'bobong' boyfriend. (haha! go mar!)
35. sobrang sarap ni ara gumawa ng blueberry cheesecake.
36. may mga kasabihang "go lang ng go!", "keep going!", "I have it!" at ang mga word-for-the-day na Excelsior, Dense, at Always.
37. kahit magisip pa ng ibang venue, sa sarah's ka parin babagsak. or kela ally.
38. umiyak si ano dahil kay ano. (hay) pero tapos na yon! :)
39. masaya pumasok araw araw. you're looking forward to everyday. never a dull moment talaga!
40. kahit late ka pumasok, nakangiti paring maghe-hello si sir bry sayo.
41. hindi close si gly at yanie dati. sa kem lang sila nagkakilala. weh >_
46. kelangan mong makipagbreak para hanapin ang sarili mo (uy si ano to ah :D)
47. nagpapadala ng ibon ang BIR sa mga hindi pa nakakabayad ng tax. (hahahahahaha!)
48. hindi nagchecheck ng attendance si sir bry. isipin mo nalang, malulungkot sya kapag umabsent ka. (kunsensya mo yan)
49. Sun + Beer = Bronze. mahirap na chemical equation yan.
50. may sinulat kang crush sa bonus point. crush mo parin kaya sya ngayon? hihi *^_^*
51. masayang mag stop-dance/trip-to-jerusalem kapag alak ang kapalit ng mga upuan. (next time ulet!)
52. wag kang uuwi ng madaling araw 3days-in-a-row. wag kang sasama sa mga swimming2 na yan. baka lagyan nila ng gamot ang inumin mo at ma-rape ka! (haha!)
53. may kaklase kang na-pimp-my-ride at dalawa ang tv sa loob ng kotse.
54. meron din namang mga nangangailangan ng car wash (hahahahahaha! joke lang betz!)
55. dapat mong pakinggan mabuti ang sinasabi ni sir bago magexam at sure na sure, andun un!
56. may mga taong hindi nagnonotes pero naexempt sa exam, at meron ding hindi nag-aral pero top3 pa sa 2nd exam. wow.
57. wag kang magaaral with friends kasi siguradong babagsak lang kayo sa paglalaro ng monopoly.
58. may mga ---- na feeling artista. XD
59. nagwish ka na sana magbrownout nalang ulet para sa CS audi ulet ang exam (Aircon eh!)
60. si drei ang nagdrawing ng cartoon version ni sir sa cover ng rainbow's end. (ang cute!)
61. hindi lahat ng nakikita ay color red.
62. and last but definitely not the least, MAHAL MO ANG BUONG CLASS! MAHAL MO SI SIR BRY! diba? :)
syempre sobrang dami pa.. kayo na bahala magdagdag :D salamat sa napakasayang summer! ^_^

24 Hours After the Launch

ouI am looking at our pictures. And I realized that... I'm gonna miss each and everyone of you a lot. Ang corny pero... nakakaiyak. Slight.

It was the best party I've ever had. It wasn't because of the place. Not because of the drinks. Not even the music. It was the best because I had fun with the people that matter to me the most. Because YOU were there.

It was difficult, organizing the whole event. Especially the invitation part. Ang hirap kausapin ng past students. Unsure lagi. Cancellations at the last minute. It was frustrating because I want them to be there but, it seems that when I called... when FINALLY, I had an event for my students, they WON"T come. Sad. There are limits, I guess.

But a precious few did come. I call them my real students, and I will treasure them the most: Zynka (from 3years past), Vianka and Amay (forever my closest students), Nevin (the silent one), Monique and Joy Ann (my sunken studes), Milet (ang pagbabalik), Julian (the bartender), and Bec (my music critic).

Ang saya balikan ng mga moments... Nung nagsasayaw tayo sa dancefloor. Grabe... So much fun! And the hugs I gave you before you went home. I'll treasure those moments forever...

I'm really thankful for the support my students gave me. Especially my biochem class. Love nyo talaga ako 'no? Love ko din kayo. :)

I am also very grateful for my colleagues at the Institute: Mayang, Gwenn, Marie Joy (aka Friend 2), Cheska, Shem, Yayik, Jervee. Thanks to Boi and Bick and Rhay... Friends forever.

I am wondering where I got the ATP's to dance at all... I haven't slept a wink the night before, and two days back I've only had about 6 hours of sleep all in all... And on the day itself, I didn't eat a single meal - before the party, I was too busy preparing; during the party, I was too busy entertaining guests; after the party, I was simply too tired. But I guess it was your support which pushed me on to the dancefloor. It was your presence which gave me the courage to perform. It was your love that kept me on my feet...

And people wonder why I am doing all these things just for the fun of my students.

Well, the answer is - I just know how to reciprocate. I'm just giving back all the love I've received from my friends.

Yun lang naman yun. :)

To all my friends, thank you for the support. Thank you for you time, for your cooperation, for you money. Thank you for the fun I wouldn't have had if you weren't there. Once, I was a lonely boy, but now, I am surrounded by true friends.

MAraming salamat sa inyong lahat. I'll never forget the night you've shared with me.

Lab2Love

Sigh. September is here. It's almost time for me to say goodbye to my students. To my newly-found friends. Again. Just this afternoon, I invited my 150.1 students to hang out with me in Sunken Garden. It was a bit off though because it wasn't really planned beforehand and most of them had other things to do. But they still came. All of them. And I was really grateful.

Yesterday (Monday), it was my Chem 16 class I was hanging out with in the same area. I got to know them better. I made them share stuff about themselves. Every one of them. I told them, "So that it will be more painful for us when we say goodbye." Some laughed, half-heartedly. Those who simply shifted their eyes and kept quiet probably knew I wasn't lying.

These past few days I honestly feel like I'm always running against time when I think about my classes. I feel that I'm always hurrying. It's like being two years as an instructor has ingrained sembreak in my biological clock. Sembreak means goodbye. Sembreak means pain. Again. And again.

One of the many many things I've realized and accepted as true is how who you are now is a direct consequence of the things which have happened to you in your past. I remember a period in my high school when I was positively shunned by my classmates. I felt like nobody wanted to be with me. I was circling around different groups, moving from one to another whenever I feel like I'm not welcome anymore.

It was just a period though. After a while, I found my own high school barkada.

Perhaps that "isolated" feeling stuck with me all these years and it made me too clingy with my students. Too hurt whenever they go. Whenever the sem ends and they move on, faster than I can. Because I know that they will meet new teachers and they will be busy with other stuff. They will forget. Some of them.

So what do I do? I make the best of the time we have. Whenever I have extra time, I discuss other stuff. I try to share with them what I've learned in love and life. We both know that those lessons are way more important than chemistry. Every minute really counts because once the sem has ended, it's all gone.

Some nights, I lie awake thinking how difficult it is for me. I remember every sem, every class. I remember how happy we all were everytime we meet. To them, I'm just one person. When I go, it is easier to keep in touch. Easier to forget. But what about me? I've already lost hundreds of them. And I'm about to lose more.

So many faces I remember. So many moments. So many laughs. How can you not be sad losing those? Some teachers must have hearts made of stone!

I keep telling my students that if I were rich, I'd have a really big builiding where my students (past and present) may stay. We'll have nighly review sessions in spacious, well-lighted rooms. I'll try to help them with their other subjects. We'll have parties, inuman sessions, neverending yosi breaks. Loads of bonding activities...

I wish they could all stay with me til the end.

***

But some mornings, when I wake up to find my fone brimming with quotes from my past and present students... Days when I get Friendster comments from my past students saying that they miss me. Some days when I'm walking around UP and I am greeted by my students left and right. Days when I am smiled at. Days when I am hugged just because they saw me again... It's worth more than any amount of money you can ever give me.

***

And some people wonder why I'm still a teacher when I can get a higher paying job? Some people think I'm a fool for being a UP teacher? They can brag about how rich they are, but can they brag about how happy they are? I just laugh at them.

They don't feel what I feel.

:)

***

The tears I shed for my students always pay off in the end.

Aldasiel's Army

One of the things I thought I have lost this past couple of years was my obsession for Harry Potter. With all the crazy (and sometimes, adult) things I've done recently, I thought I have already outgrown my teenage fantasy about meeting and being the boy who lived. I thought that since I'm already 22, I'd be out of place if I still continue preaching and blabbing about Harry anywhere I go. I believed I was over that "magical" phase... For a while, I was right but

The movie proved me wrong.

In fact, a few minutes after watching the movie, I was brought back on the Hogwarts high I used to feel everyday. For a while after leaving the movie house, I imagined Lord Voldemort lurking somewhere in the mall, and when he appears, his wand pointing at me, I, in the lead, will duel with him assisted by the rest of my students who watched the movie with me. Flashes and bangs. Lightning and fire. It wasn't a crazy thought at all. It felt natural.

At times, in the movie, I can see myself in Harry. It was a strange feeling, watching him teach the DA members about defensive spells. I felt it was a representation of what I am doing with my students (Aldasiel's Army), only instead of teaching spells, I try to teach them about life and love and occasionally, sex. My lessons might not be as exciting and colorful as the spellwork in the movie, but it's what we've got and at least it's real and it has the same purpose - to help my students survive the real world.

Aside from the magic, I like the movie more because of its focus on friendship. Shaming as it is to admit, I almost cried on some parts of the movie because it touched topics close to my heart. Togetherness. Being there. Helping each other. Doing what's right. Rebellion. Friendship.

Friendship friendship...

What has happened to the shy and stoic boy I used to be? Now I'm preaching about things older people should be saying instead. Have I grown up too fast?

What, indeed, has happened to the old me?

Magic?

Whatever.

I'm too old for that stuff.

People just change.

Paano Maglaro ng Frisbee

Malamig sa Sunken. Kahit na medyo mataas na ang araw, sa lilim ng mga puno, may konting "breeze". Pero doon sa gitna kami maglalaro ng frisbee, kasama ang mga students ko. At siyempre kasama din si baby. Hehe. Naisip ko nga na ang kulang na lang siguro ay musika sa background at alak para makumpleto na ang kaligayahan ko.

Hawakan mo ang frisbee. Maraming klase ng paghawak pero piliin mo na lang yung kung saan ka pinaka-komportable. Dapat good ang grip para malayo ang marating ng frisbee at tatama naman sa target.

Actually, hindi naman talaga kasali si baby. Nanood lang siya kasi ayaw niya nang napapagod. Anyway, nagwarm-up muna kami. Si Nikko nga may nalalaman pang aerobics. Haha. Naglaro muna kami ng imbento kong laro. Yung tipong volleyball-type na frisbee game. Dalawang teams: Dark-colored shirts versus light-colored. White ang suot kong shirt noon.

May tamang porma din dapat ang katawan. Dapat hindi parallel ang iyong mga binti. May konting pag-bend din ng mga tuhod. In a way, para kang magbobowling.

Nagsimula na ang game at dahil nasa east ang araw, north and south ang posisyon namin. Unfair nga dahil nasa shade ang team namin pero kami naman yung nasa may "creek" kaya pahirapan tuloy kapag hindi nasasalo yung frisbee or "out of bounds" na nangyayari most of the time. Most improved player si Lailah. Pero si Ishe, patabingi pa rin ang pagtira. Hehe. Sina Daisy naman meron pang nalalamang fusion technique from Dragonball Z bago tumira.

Kapag tama na ang posisyon ng iyong katawan, tingnan mong maigi ang kondisyon ng paligid. Mahangin ba? Saang direksyon? Ang araw nasaan? Tandaan mong ang goal mo ay hindi lang maitapon ang frisbee kundi maitapon ito para masalo nang kasama mo.

After ng warmup, nagsimula na kaming mag-Ultimate Frisbee kaso hindi ganoon kadali dahil naghanap muna kami ng suitable na goals. Nagpunta sila sa gitna ng Sunken samantalang bumalik muna ako kay baby dahil ang alam ko, pauwi na siya. Pagkatapos ko siyang ihatid, naka-ready na. Mas mataas at mas malaki yung isang goal pero ayos lang daw dahil si Nikko naman ang magbabantay.

Ngayon, tingnan mo naman ang iyong destinasyon. Sino ba ang sasalo? Maliit ba siya o matangkad? Dapat ayusin mo ang iyong focus para sigurado kang pagtapon mo, masasalo niya. Tandaan: in essence, horizontal ang pagtapon. Kapag malayuan, siyempre kailangang itaas mo ang tapon pero beginner ka pa lang naman eh.

Sinimulan na ang laro. Maraming nagkamali agad dahil sa traveling (kasama na ako). Marami ring hindi nasasalo kaya lumilipat lagi ang possession ng frisbee. Pero mas masaya ngayon. Astig. Gumagaling na ang mga students ko. Lalo na si Cleo kahit na minsan ay nagiging violent na. Hehe. Siyempre si Kara at si Jerome magagaling pa din. Ever since naman eh. Si Daisy ang galing mag-block. Si Ian at Jessica game na game din. Alam kaya nilang last time na itong paglalro namin? Ang score 3:1, leading kami.

At kung handa ka nang itapon ang frisbee. Kung alam mo na ang iyong destinasyon. Kung alam mo na kung paano igagalaw ang iyong braso at mga binti. Kung alam mo na kung saan mo dapat itapon ang frisbee...

Pagkatapos ng break, dumating na si Kat na hindi pa daw naliligo. Tinuloy ang laro matapos manood ng soccer game ng mga kiddos. Si Kat, dahil hindi naligo, hindi tuloy makuha ang frisbee. Hehe. Nahabol tuloy ng kabilang team ang score. Natapos ang laro nang 4:6 ang score. Panalo ang dark-colored shirt team.

Kung handa ka nang itapon ang frisbee, pakawalan mo ito.

Nauna na akong umalis dahil may magpapaturo pa sa akin na ibang 28.1 students. Umalis na ako. "Magkikita pa kaya tayo?" ang tanong ko sa kanila. "Oo naman Sir!" sabi nila. "Babay," sabi ko. "Mwahmwah" at tumalikod na ako dahil ayaw ko nang mag-emote pa.

Ang frisbee... Pakawalan mo...

Natapos na naman ang isang sem. At sa bawat pag-alis ng isang batch ng mga students, may dumadagdag na mga alaala. Sabi nga ni Doreen, hindi magiging mas mahirap ang pagtatapos ng aming klase kung hindi kami naging close. Kung hindi dahil sa akin, sabi nila.

Pakawalan mo...

Wala na akong mga kakwentuhan during at after ng class...

Wala nang makikinig sa aking mga kuwento tungkol kay X, Y, Z, O, at alpha...

Wala nang tawanan...

Wala nang dramahan...

Wala nang "life's lessons"...

Pakawalan mo...

Wala nang album updates...

Wala nang Gwen Stefani bonus questions...

Wala na kong ka-frisbee...

Isang sem lang ang lumipas at pagkatapos nun, wala na. Kaput!

Pakawalan mo...

Tapos na at mga alaala na lang ang natira.

Pakawalan mo...

Paalam sa mga estudyante ko. Hindi niyo lang alam na kayo ang nagbibigay ng kahulugan sa aking buhay. At alam niyo naman na totoo yun.

Pakawalan mo... dahil sasaluhin nila.

Paalam!

At ibabalik nila ulit sa iyo.

Exam Blues

Sumasakit na ang ulo mo. Gusto mo munang magpahinga pero exam mo na sa ilang oras. Ilang pages pa ng notes at libro ang kailangan mong basahin. Antok na antok ka na.


Kinusot mo ang iyong mata at ipinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa. Puro highlights at underline ang mga notes mo. Ang mga readings. Kung hindi ka lang OC, pati libro susulatan mo na din. Gumagalaw ang iyong mga mata, sinusundan ang bawat linya ng notes at mga equations. Tuloy pa rin ang basa kahit na wala nang pumapasok sa utak mo.


Gawa-gawa ka ng mnemonics kuno para mas madali mag-aral. Notes dito. Notes dyan. I-summarize ang lesson. Pagsama-samahin ang mga equations. Index cards galore.


Hindi ka mapakali kung saan ka pupuwesto para mag-aral. Sa study table? Sa kitchen table? Sa sofa? Pati sa banyo dala-dala mo ang iyong mga notes. Sa kama na lang para mas komportable. Mas malambot. Mas conducive for learning. Hayan relaxed na relaxed ka na sa pag-aaral. For sure mataas ang makukuha mong score sa exam. Yes! Uno here I come!


After 10 seconds, gusto mong matulog muna saglit. Oversleep? Hindi yata. Tatlong alarm clocks ang gagamitin mo para hindi mangyari yun. Alam mo namang kailangan mo talaga mag-aral kaya for sure gigising ka din after one hour siguro? For sure pagkagising mo, mas handa ka nang mag-aral. Konting pahinga muna tapos tuloy-tuloy na. Haaay ang lambot ng bed mo. Yakap mo na si teddy bear. Game? Game!


***


Zzzzz


Ring!


snooze


RING!


Snooze!


RRRINNGGG!


SNOOZE!!


***


Maya-maya...


Cheneztry 16
SECOND LONG EXAM


Instructions: Churva churva churvaloo. Chenes! Karirin!


Question # 991: What is the cheverloo of chukchakchenes if 459.38 Chuvs is chukchak with 3.409857 Keverloo? (Hint: 23.423 Shomabels = 82346 Chismax)


Nerdy Classmate: Keverloo is Chismax to the Nth level. So chuva chukchak chenes times ederlyn. 3434 + 5694859 = 34987 x 23492187 + 1! Square root of shomabels divided by 343 echos. Answer is 1!


Ikaw: ??? Huhuhu... Bakit ganito ang buhay? HIndi pa ba sapat ang ginawa ko? I did my best! Life is so unfair! UNFAIR!


Proctor: Ssshhh...


Luha: (patak... patak...)


Proctor: No crying during the exam please. Deductions chuva remembah...


***


Haaay... Ganyan talaga ang buhay estudyante, kiddo. Lalo na't nasa UP ka... Ang masasabi ko lang bilang teacher ay...


Umattend na sa mga review sessions ko. Hehehe. Inuman na tayo! Woohooo! Hahahaha. Punta tayo UP Fair kids ha? Bonding tayo! :P

Student-Teacher Relationship

Pasukan na naman sa isang buwan. Excited na ako. May makikilala na namang mga bagong mukha, mga bagong kaibigan. Marami na namang magagawang bagong mga jokes sa klase ko, mga moments. Bagong mga alaala na magiging parte na naman ng aking buhay.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko lubusang maintindihan kung bakit ganito ako ka-attached sa aking mga estudyante at sa aking trabaho. Siguro, kung kilala mo ako personally nang kaunti, hindi mo iisiping ganung klase ako ng guro ('yung mabait kuno). Iisipin mo na isa akong normal na guro - strict, boring, mahirap magpa-exam, hindi approachable, etc.

Ewan ko nga ba. Nang pasukin ko ang larangang ito, hindi ko naisip na magiging ganito ka-OA ang enjoyment at fulfillment ko sa pagtuturo. Para bang ito talaga ang nararapat na trabaho para sa akin. Yung tipong laid back lang dahil may pagkatamad ako. Yung tipong para kang artista habang nasa harap ka ng mga students mo pero at the same time nagtuturo ka din ng lesson. Yung tipong binabantayan mo ang lab students mo habang nagkwekwentuhan occasionally at nakikipag-friends na din.

Ang saya talaga maging teacher. Iba ang fulfillment kapag naibibigay mo sa mga estudyante mo ang mga bagay na gagamitin nila sa kanilang mga future. Tapos what makes it nicer is the fact that they're already your friends. Kilala mo na sila at close ka sa kanila kaya ang ganda ng feeling kapag natutulungan mo sila. Hindi yung kagaya ng ibang teacher na hindi nafeefeel ang fulfillment dahil hindi sila motivated kasi nga hindi naman nila kilala yung mga tinuturuan nila - hindi nila nakukuha yung sense ng kanilang trabaho. Mas masaya ang roles ng teacher at students kong may bonding talaga.

Pero take note, para maging close sa mga students, hindi mo kinakailangang maging mabait lang. Kasi kapag mabait ka lang, pero hindi ka talaga "one" with your students, aabusuhin ka lang nila. Dapat nagagalit ka din occasionally kung may reason, at ipapaliwanag mo sa kanila kung bakit ka nagalit. That way, if ever may nakakalimot man sa linya between teachers and students, maipapaalala mo sa kanila na hindi ka nila kachokaran na pwedeng balewalain at all times.

Iyon. That's the technique. Be one with your students. Para sa akin kasi, madali lang iyon dahil hindi pa naman ako ganun katanda (hindi talaga). Alam ko pa kung gaano kahirap ang buhay ng isang UP student kaya naiintindihan ko sila. Actually, kapag naging friends mo na students mo, hindi mo na kailangang mag-effort pa e. Everything follows after that. Makipag-lunch ka with them. Hang out habang nagyoyosi.

Pero sadly, all good things come to an end. Masakit para sa akin (no joke) kapag patapos na ang sem. Kasi yung mga friends mo, mawawala na. Maghihiwalay na kayo. Kahit ano pang sabihin natin na "friends pa din tayo" o kahit idagdag niyo pa na "text-text na lang", after ng sem, iba na talaga ang lahat. Kanya-kanya na tayo ng direksyon at mga ginagawa. Sa pagtatapos ng sem, mawawala na ang nagbuklod sa atin - ang klase. Kung ano ang dahilan ng pagkakakilala natin sa isa't isa, iyon din ang magdudulot ng katapusan nito.

Nakakaiyak balikan ang lahat ng mga naging klase ko. Bawat klase may kanya-kanyang moments, mga pasaway at mababait na students. Merong mga henyo't henya sa Chem , meron ding kailangan ng additional help. Ang mga bloopers tuwing may experiment. Ang mga tuksuhan sa mga nabubuong love teams (kaya nga lab e). Ang mga awayan na kailangan pang i-open forum. Lahat. LAHAT ng iyon ay nasa puso ko pa rin hanggang ngayon. Nakakalungkot dahil sana forever na tayong magkakasama lahat. Pero ganoon talaga ang life...

Tanggap ko na na lagi na lang akong magiging ganito. Bawat sembreak na lang, luluha nang konti diyan habang binabasa ang inyong mga "love letters", habang tinitingnan ang mga trinkets na ibinigay niyo sa akin, binabasa ang mga essays ninyo. Iiyak na lang habang nakikita ko sa isip ko ang mga mukha ninyo habang nasa lab tayo. Kung saan parang naglalaro lang tayo dahil ang saya natin lahat. Biruan dito, kwentuhan diyan, hanggang sa hindi natin namalayan na patapos na pala ang period natin. Patapos na pala ang sem.

Tapos na, mga students ko. Tapos na ang sem. Wala na ako. Wala na kayo. Pero naaalala ko pa rin ang lahat ng mga napagdaanan natin. Sana hindi niyo ko makalimutan. Sana kahit tumanda na tayo lahat, maisip pa din natin na minsan, sa isnag dumihing kwarto sa Chem Pav, may nabuong mga pagkakaibigan. May nabuong mga alaala na minsan sa buhay natin, napagsabay nating maging masaya at tumawa habang nag-aaral tayo ng kimika.

Paalam sa inyo mga students ko. Salamat sa isang maligayang sem na pinagsamahan natin. One big HUG for ALL of you!!! Mamimiss ko kayong lahat! Huwag niyong kakalimutan ang mga pinagsamahan natin...

:c

My Speech

This was the real speech I gave my chem 28.1 students yesterday (March 22) after their final exam. They insisted on having copies, so I told them that I will be posting this in my blog. Here goes...

March 22, 2006 5pm PH1318

Dear Class,

Hello! Kumusta na kayo. Haaay ang bilis talaga ng panahon. Parang kailan lang nung pumasok ako sa class niyo na naka-CS shirt at naka-gel para mas mukhang presentable. Ngayon, last day ko na kayong makikita. Last day na lahat tayo ay magiging kumpleto.

Bakit nga ba ang drama ko sa mga ganitong bagay? Bakit ba ang dami kong mga pauso at kaartehan sa klase? Bakit ba ko nasasaktan tuwing magtatapos ang sem?

Well, sabi ko nga sa sarili ko, ito na kasi ang buhay ko - ang maging guro. Nandito ang aking passion - ang matulungan ko ang aking mga students. Bukod sa tulungan silang makapasa sa kurso, gusto ko din na kahit papaano, nagsaya sila. Na kahit paano, nailabas nila ang tunay nilang pagkatao habang sila ay nasa klase ko.

Alam nyo class, mas madali kayong makakalimot. Kasi ako, buhay ko ito. Kayo, mga students. mas madami pa kayong magiging guro na mas kwela o mas magaling pa sa akin. Parang sa classroom di ba? Ako nasa table, tapos darating kayo, tapos aalis din. Ako maiiwan. Makakasama ko pa din ang reagents, ang sink, ang UV-Vis, ang mga glassware at dahil doon, mas mahirap na makalimutan ko kayo.

Sa totoo lang class, medyo namamanhid na ako sa dami ng mga students na nawala sa akin. Paulit-ulit na lang. Kayo kasi ang last class ko na mameemeet this sem kaya nagpumilit akong maging proctor nyo ulit.

Mamimiss ko nga ba kayo? Mamimiss ko ba ang Chem 28.1 TFWQR1 2nd sem 05-06? Mamimiss ko ba ang Christmas exchange gift natin? Ung house cup, ung "pinoy henyo" natin, o ung story sharing? Ung pagpunta natin sa Fair? Ung pagsakay natin sa Octopus na binansagang "Variety Show"? Ung pagtulog nyo sa grounds? Ung kaguluhan kung saan muntik nang maiwan si Mae at ma-stampedan? Ung attempt ko na maglaro tayo ng frisbee pero si Mae at Nica lang ang pumatos?

Mamimiss ko ba ang pagkalate ni Juanito? Ang pagkamaingay ni Mae? Ang pagkatahimik at well-behaved ni Nica? Ang alarm clock ni Gia at ang electric fan ni Aaron? Ang manliligaw ni Dhesz at ang mga nunal ni Jessa? Ang di pagligo ni RJ bago magreport at ang love team ni Sherry at Mr. Cuenco? Paano naman ang pang-iindian ni Stephen sa Fair o ang katangkaran ni Royson? At higit sa lahat, mamimiss ko ba ang boyfriend ni Loray?

Sa less than five months na magkakasama tayo, class, mukhang marami-rami na rin ang nangyari. Pero sabi nga ni Ely Buendia, lahat ng bagay ay mayroong hangganan. Malungkot, oo, at may choice akong hindi malungkot pero mas pipiliin ko pang umiyak dahil gusto kong maramdaman ang pagkawala ninyong lahat. Gusto kong maipadama sa inyo na naging mahalaga kayo sa buhay ko. Na habang kapiling ko kayo ay hindi ko naramdaman na ako ay nagtratrabaho lamang.

Kung iisipin, class, malungkot ang buhay ko. Pero kahit papaano ay sumasaya ako sa class natin, para tayong may fantasy world. Fantasy world na kung saan totoo ang Harry Potter. Na parang wala na akong mundo bukod sa 28.1. Na wala nang ibang hangarin kundi matapos ang experiment nang matino at on-time. Na wala nang mas importante pa sa kasiyahan natin habang naghihintay sa oven nung expt 2. Na parang nasa sariling mundo ako na kung saan masaya ako bilang si "Sir Bry" ng aking mga estudyante. Na parang wala na akong ibang pagkatao at buhay paglabas ko ng classroom.

Pero iyon nga class, lahat ay may katapusan. Ung iba sa inyo baka hindi ko na makita dahil magpapakasal na o mag-aartista. Ung iba naman baka maging mutants na at mag-enrol kay Professor X. Ung isa naman baka mahuli na ng MMDA sa noise pollution. Kahit ano pa ang mangyari at kung saan kayo mapunta, huwag nyong kalimutan na nandito lang ako. Huwag nyo kong ituring na "others" dahil hindi na kayo iba sa akin. Salamat sa CRS o sa manual enlistment dahil naging mga estudyante ko kayo. Sana ay hindi nyo ko makalimutan. (Mahal ko kayong lahat.)

Love, Sir Bry

I'm Still Remembering

Wow I have a headache right now. But not a terrible one...

I am still not completely sober. Ive just arrived from an inuman with my Chem 16 10 to 1 class, whom, by the way, I am already missing by now. (Just been hours since Ive seen them).

Wow, the headache's really coming on, and I am having quite some difficulty typing this blog entry since I keep on pushing the wrong letters. Whoa, why is the world going sideways? Where is the blasted keyboard? Not making sense, aint I?

Today was the official last meeting of my Chem 16 classes and I am SO touched about their messages. Class, thank you. All of this is because of you. All my efforts, for you. I am so happy weve been able to spend one whole semester together. I am going to miss all of you badly. Our lab days are gone. Never will I see you complete again inside the lab. Never again.

And yet I am still happy Ive been able to meet you. Each of you. You are all wonderful students to be with. I am sorry if I am rambling. I am just... missing you.

Looking back, I realized that I was so happy to be your instructor. I am so happy, class, I am missing you right now! I will cry, I know. And every tear that Ive shed will be more than worth it. If only I could turn back time, even for a bit, just to show you how much you really matter to me. How much youve made my life more colorful. For everything weve done together. I will miss how we get along... Class, weve got to have a review for your finals! I want to see you again!

Ive had the time of my life when I was with you. Im here. Im always here. Remember that.

What happened in the Great Hall will always be one of my fondest memories. All my new friends come together... All of you there... For the last time...

I want to cry right now. Even if this sounds exaggerated or far-fetched. Even if this isnt the typical reaction of a teacher for his students... But I think weve gone beyond that relationship. Ive let you tame me, and when it is time to go, I am left here alone on the wheat fields of the institute.

i'm still remembering.

Soon

I am afraid for the coming weeks. I have to be prepared. I dont know if my students see, but... I am afraid.

Last Friday, when classes were suspended, I invited some of my 28.1 students to play frisbee with me. It was still early, so I thought that they might want to spend their free time with me. Nica and Mae came. I was glad they did.

They came. I somehow expected them to come. But what about the others? They would rather study perhaps. Or sleep. Or spend their time doing something else profitable for themselves. I know they have their reasons, and that I had no reason to be hurt. But I was. It was like I am pushing myself on them. It is like they dont realize that our days together are numbered. I dont know...

They might say that we are not really close enough to spend more time together. Why am I pushing the limits between what should be? I am just a teacher.

Just a teacher. Just a lab instructor. And yet I have grown fond of being with them. My kiddos. I like leading them towards something fruitful. I have grown into that role. And soon, it will all be over. It is just sad that perhaps they do not realize how much I will miss filling that place.

It is not their fault. It is my problem. Or is it a problem at all? Soon they will go. They will go! No avoiding that. But like what my student Jel said, I should smile instead because it happened.

I am so happy. I was able to have such students with me for one semester. But, I cannot deny that I will be SO hurt when they go again. It hurts me much!

But is there any point in focusing on the sadness? Maybe I wont even cry after all. Maybe. I am a heartbag. A big bloody sissy heartbag.

That is a painful lesson that I have learned. Some students do forget.

Or maybe the remedy is to simply do nothing. Perhaps I will be hurt less if I will start acting colder? No, I cant do that to them.

I can picture the last day in my mind. Everyone there (hopefully). Once we walk out the door, everything will be different. New students will come, but they all are meant to go anyway. I hope some will stay. Please do. Stay, keep in touch. Never forget that I am still here. The same old grumpy touchy me.

Every meeting from now on counts.

Love Spell

Valentine's Day never seemed to be such an important holiday to me before. Never have I been so anxious, never have I felt so special, never have I felt the energy hanging in the air on this day before. Last year's Valentine's, I was at home, absent from school. I never even remembered that it was Valentine's...

This year though... it is different. I already knew Valentine's will fall on a Tuesday last month. Plans came and went. Schemes came and went. But my real Valentine's surprise hasnt even come yet. I thought that since on V-day, everyone's expecting surprises, Id better reserve my surprise on another day. Is that logical? You know me, I am a nonconformist.

Fish died today. Our pet fighting fish named Fish. I saw him lying on his side on the bottom of his small aquarium home. It is sad, losing Fish. I used to like him very much.  Even if I cannot even touch him... Sigh. 2006 is indeed a year of losses. Even animals will die this year. I so very hope my pet cat, Baby, wont die this year. Fish only lasted a week. Baby has been with me for five years now. It would be harder for me to lose him.

Marnie, my Chem 16 student last sem, has been taking tutorials with me for her Chem 17 exam on Sunday. It feels nice, that I am still able to talk to her, and laugh with her, and share memories with her. She is often with Adrian, and that, in a small way, makes me happy too since it seems that I was involved in how they became friends. I am glad I am still in touch with a handful of my past students. When we're together, you will not guess that I was their teacher last sem, not a common friend. Well, unless you her them calling me "Sir" occasionally...

I had a henna tattoo done on my forearm last night. A lightning bolt. It did not really look like how I drew it to the artist, but it should do. When it starts to get ugly, I will have it covered with a bracelet.

Ive been to the Fair twice now - last night and on V-day, and Im planning to come again tonight. My students invited me. Well, my money these days is more slippery than water for me to hold on to.. I wonder when I can really save. February is not conducive for saving. Will the Valentine's bonus really come?

Tonight I am going to the Fair again. With my Chem 28.1 students. Too bad I wasnt able to meet my Chem 16 students yesterday. Perhaps they would have invited me too.

I am really happy that I am able to spend time with my students. Soon, it will be over, so I am stocking up as many memories as I can. I have a feeling that I will have fun tonight, spending the night with my students. Riding the Octopus (aka Variety Show), having tattoos, eating, walking around, listening to the bands, sitting on the grass, meeting friends. I like being one with my students in spirit and in spirit still!

What Hurts Me Most

When you update your blog too often, people seem to lose interest in checking what youve written new since it happens too often. Unless they are really interested in what you are writing...

This time I am going to write about my life as a UP chem lab instructor.

Teaching is not hard, but I guess it depends on the person. Last sem's end was heartbreaking, no exaggeration. I recall one night last year. It was the last day of classes - October 1, the same date for the third Chem 16 exam. I was lying in bed ready to sleep, listening to the CD some of my students gave me. The ending songs in the CD - Closing Time, Kuwarto, and Paglisan - made me cry.

Some of my colleagues are probably getting a bit exasperated about me when they see me being close to my students too much. I get too attached. And that night, the songs made me realize that I will never see some of my students again. Never see them smile when I encounter them walking in the Chem corridor, laugh at my jokes in class, see their eager faces when I am discussing a particular lesson. Never again will I check their quizzes, following each student's progress. Or simply have all of them - complete - inside the walls of our very old laboratory home where we met 6 hours a week for a whole semester. Never again.

I cried, recalling the happy memories we have shared. How we had so much fun and yet were able to do what we need to do. Never again will I see them do experiments, ask me things about the procedure. All those things. They have been a part of my life for five months, and then suddenly, each goes his or her own way. Leaving me inside our classroom, recalling memories. Looking at the dry sink, the empty tabletops, the spotless blackboard... listening to the quiet of the room. Nobody calling me "Bye, Sir!" or "Hi, Sir!", or simply "Sir!" anymore.

I read the messages I made my former students write me a few hours before we all parted. Saying thank you's, saying good luck's, telling me how they had fun. It has been four months now and still I get this teary-eyed feeling as I am writing this. My work gives me so much pain and yet I will not ask for more.

If I worked in the industry, where salaries are higher, where the equipment is better, will I get the smiles I receive when I see my students? Whenever I walk by the Chem pav or even in the streets of UP, all students would be strangers to me. I would have missed so much. I wouldnt have met such wonderful friends such as Marnie, Zynka, Caps, Lyn, Ate Julie, Adrian, Giselle, Ace, Kristel, Tom, Korinah, and all the 60 others. All of them would have been strangers to me if I did not teach.

Will I have the memories I have with me now? Memories of reportings, accidents in the lab, bloopers in the procedure, sharing stories, all the laughter? No!

I feel grateful that I seem to be following the right path. That at an early age, I feel content and fulfilled about what I am doing. I do not really consider teaching as "work", its my mission. When I discuss topics in front of the class, I dont feel that it is something that I had to do, its something that I want to do. Its just like being with your friends, like Im helping them learn. I enjoy what I am doing.

Teaching is a noble job. We are not merely giving students lectures, we are giving them knowledge they can use for their future careers. And it not only stops in that. As an instructor, I can help make this learning process fun and memorable. Through teaching, I am able to touch their lives. I am able to be a part of their story, even for a few months. In the short time given to us, Ive made some of them laugh, relax, just enjoying being a student of chemistry. Ive made a difference in their lives. Who can ask for more?

I feel weird about myself. I have changed. Before, I usually do not care about other people that much. All I think about is myself. If I were to be made an instructor then, perhaps I would be a business-is-business instructor. Do this, do that, listen to this, no fun, work, work, work! But perhaps, the students themselves changed me.

Ive made made my students write an essay about our class and they always seem to like their classmates. All of my three lower chem classes mentioned that their classmates are fun and easy to hang around with. That, in my opinion, did not happen by chance. I simply let the students be themselves. I foster an atmosphere without tension, so students can feel at ease, and hence learn more not only about the lessons but also about their classmates. I also make it a point to share some of my experiences to my students. It is a sign that I trust them, and that I want to be friends with them. It not only makes it easier for them to interact with me, it makes it easier for me to talk to them and teach them better as well.

Sigh. The end is coming near again. February is almost halfway over. And then March, and then goodbye. Goodbye students all over again. My life goes in circles. Nothing left for me but memories, and most of all the friendship that we have developed through the hours weve spent together. If I feel this now, what would I feel when it is really time for goodbye? Maybe I can handle it better this time. Maybe not. But I dont care if I get hurt even more this time. What matters is that I was able to enjoy being with my students even for the limited time given to us. That I have been friends with them, and perhaps through a bit of my help, I have made them friends with each other.

I am always the fox in the Little Prince. I allow them to tame me and when the time for leaving comes, I get hurt. But the colour of the wheat fields will always stay. Always.

So, students. Of the past and the present. Please do not forget me. I am still remembering. But, I know that when people are apart, they grow apart. And perhaps we will too... But in the myocardial cells of my heart (this sounds so cheesy but it is true) and in the neurons of my brain, you will always have a special place which I will tend as long as I could.

Do you know what you could do to hurt me most? You can make me suffer so much. I am at the mercy of just one word. And what is that?

Forget.

Sticks and stones are hard on bones/ Aimed with angry art/ Words can sting like anything/ But silence breaks the heart

I Will Never Forget the Eleventh

I woke up at 9am (I think), and I listened to the CD I made. I called it "Eleven". Because it has only 11 tracks and it was October 11 and because... (figure this last one out). Well, I was having another bout of the blues.. So I decided that I would be using it for a better and more useful purpose. I got up out of bed. And ironed the shirt I had made. It says "CHEM16 TFW2QR2 Ist Sem 05-06" in front and "Excelsior!" at the back. The back message was written in Old English (ala Gwen Stefani), while the front was in a simpler pa-cute font. I ironed it, following the instructions carefully (it was air-sprayed, so it has to be done in quite a different manner) then I ironed my jeans. All done while listening to "Eleven".

Then, i took a bath. There was no timba in the banyo so I had to use the tabo alone. Tin was using the timba, she was doing laundry. I was not feeling very well. I have a slight fever, because the night before, I walked home on a drizzly night without an umbrella. (I'm really not sure about the cause..) Then, I set off for IC. I even forgot the CD so I had to go back. I went straight to PH1201 where LE is proctoring an exam. She told me she won't be able to come with me, but I convinced her otherwise, and we talked about some essential "stuff". I stayed in the office for a while, waiting for the exam to finish. I borrowed her CD player, and I listened once again to "Eleven".

Then, we set off. We took the MRT to go to Megamall and there was a slight embarrassment (courtesy of LE) on our way out of the station. When we arrived at PowerBooks, I wasn't able to see my students straightaway. I even thought they were hiding. There was Adrian, Archar, Marnie, Bianca, and (to my dismay..joke!) Zynka.

We decided to eat lunch at Almon Marina because it was what we first found (just a few steps from PowerBooks) and to try something new. I ordered pasta with salad and sausage. All of us ordered similar meals except for Bianca and Archar (lasagna). We made believe we were in Italy while eating. Midway through our meal, Mama Ren came (with dessert!) from UP (she had her defense). She gave us some cookies they made. Then, my students surprised me by giving me a wonderful photo album (complete with pictures and letters). I glanced at the pictures but did not read the letters yet. I was incoherent for a few moments (because i was touched).

Meal over, off we went to the Ice Skating Rink! Most of us will be skating for the first time (including me). I was a BIT nervous. I put on the skating shoes and found that it was very hard to keep my balance. When I stepped on the rink, I found it was DOUBLY VERY hard not to fall! Anyway, I managed to learn to skate step by step. And I fell more than ten times all in all. We had loads of fun. It was very memorable.. the first time I skated, I was with my favorite students... Anyhow, not everyone (I think) was enjoying. Adrian had many dangerous (and painful) falls. Bianca too.. And Mama Ren.. Almost everyone was hurt at some point. Well, that is life (I thought). It isnt complete without pain.. I liked skating (I can still feel the gliding motion of my legs right now), and I had loads of fun!

Then, we went to the Arcade. We played some games in there. I was with LE most of the time because we were spending (and spent) our tokens on House of the Dead II.

Tired and hungry (it was 4pm) they ate some waffles. I bought some blue cotton candy, and we sat at a table in the food court. There, I gave them a quiz on how well they know me, because I said that I will be giving something personal. Bianca won with 10 points over 15. I gave her the CD and she was really grateful. Little did they know how much that meant to me.. Maybe you will never know, or maybe you already knew, but I was giving away a part of my life in that CD. Don't worry Bianca, I have another copy.. That CD symbolizes so much about things which have happened. Big events in my life - turning points, realizations, outcomes.. Things my class does not know. Or again, maybe you already know.. Please keep it and take care of it... But alas, another surprise. tey gave me another gift. Something wrapped in hand-made wrapper and placed in a hand-made box. I opened it and there was a tie! That was my real first tie. I usually borrow from my dad. Thank you very much! To me, it means something. Something about growth, change, and age. Something about my future..

We skated some more before going up to the 5th floor (using the elevator) to sing! I sang the first song, "Unwell". That fits.. I was.. both physically and emotionally. Mama Ren and Zynka (and LE cge na nga) were videoke queens. Zynka getting madder (and more aggressive) every second. Mama Ren sang "Dreaming Of You", Zynka sang "Weak", Bianca sang Avril's "Why", Archar sang "Out of Reach", Aids sang "Salamat", Marnie sang "Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas", LE sang "Barenaked", and I sang "Paglisan". I was on the point of crying after the first verse, but they made me laugh so it went off. The last song was "Thanks to You" (Was it? Or was the title "Thank You"?). They stood and each sang a part of the song. Of course I cried. I was holding back my tears even when they were singing other songs. I kept on thinking "Will I ever see them again?", and "I wish we could have had more time together" and "Why do we have to let go?" After their song, I wiped away my tears.. I should have let it all out. Now I'm feeling like a dam..

Then we went home (it was almost 9pm). Ive never felt so appreciated yet so sad. I will never forget that day. One by one we went our separate ways.. Bianca and Mama Ren took a bus. Adrian got off at Cubao Station. Marnie was left to find a bus at Quezon Avenue. Archar was left on the van going to Sandiganbayan. Zynka and I had our dinner together at McDonald's Philcoa. I even forgot that it was quite late, and that I wouldn't be able to get my usual dinner if I did not eat right then. Zynka and I rode the tricycle together and we reached her place first. We even said goodbye twice.. I was left alone..

At the boarding house, I opened the photo album. I read the letters. Shit, I wanted to cry! I do not know.. I was just so happy that I was able to touch the lives of these wonderful students and that somehow, I became a part of them.

Sigh.. Will I ever see you all again? I am going to miss teaching all of you! I had a great time teaching you.. I liked being there.. You know what my greates gift for all of you was? It is not the Chem knowledge.. it is not the good times weve had. It is the friendship you have developed with each other. I have made you close friends, and that is something which will last for a long time. Even if it was so short-lived.

We may see each other again, probably. I will still be at UP, and I may roam around the campus occasionally. And there will come a time when we will grow apart.. Yes, that happens.. and we may not have so many words to say to each other. But deep inside, in the sparkle of my eye, there is something which still burns. And that is the memory of the wonderful times we have spent with each other. Something irreplaceable. Memories which I will take with me to my dying day. Exaggerated? Think again. I have made teaching my life. This has been me, and will always be me.

Class, I love you. I miss you. I'm always here.

"Di mo man silip ang langit,
Di mo man silip.. ito'y nandirito pa rin.
Kung ang lahat ay may katapusan,
Itong paglalakbay ay makakarating din sa paroroonan,
At sa iyong paglisan
Ang tanging pabaon ko
Ay pag-ibig"

In One Word/ The Beginning of the End

As promised, here are the one word descriptions of my classes (according to my very sipsip students)..

• exciting (4)



• masaya (3)



• fabulous (2)



• superb (2)



• magical (2)



• funny



• fun-learning



• enjoy



• unforgettable



• happy



• astounding



• fantastic



• astig



• awesome



• great



• addictive



• inspiring



• indescribable

Well, what can I say? Talagang love ako ng mga students ko. Sana naging student ko ikaw 'no? I know inggit ka, you might have had the class of your life! Hahahaha!

My closest class and I are having a gimik this 11th. I am excited and I have a small surprise for them. Yet it will be the beginning of the end. After that, will we be complete again?

Each will now go their separate ways. They will go to their new classes next semester. Some will still be taking chem classes so I might still see them. Some will not. Some I may never see again (UP is just too big). Well, that's how life is..

What about me? What will happen to me? Well, I will still be in my office. Meeting new students, but will they be the same as my closest class? NO. I am trying to hold on to this class because I dont think I will be able to teach another group of such pasaways, boleros, early birds, noisemakers, whiners, etc etc!

Class, this is the beginning of the end.. Haha. I will not be writing anything here. When I meet you na lang on the 11th. When I meet you for the last time...