A Manual On How To SAVE Me

May 27, 2009

Here are some easy steps to save your heartbroken (nga ba?) friend from further damaging his already damaged... everything! Remember that he is in a CRITICAL state. He doesn't show it, but he really needs help. ASAP.

1. Schedule a date with him. Make sure that whatever you do, it should be in a place where he can smoke and drink something. Online chat will NOT be enough. Just a friendly date! Girls, you should know better. Guys... no comment.

2. Talk some sense into him. But beware! This fiend is sharp so he can easily dismantle your weak arguments. He is open-minded though. So as long as your points are valid enough logically, scientifically, experimentally, and emotionally you're okay. He will listen.

3. Toss the dice! Just because he listened doesn't really mean that he will do what he has decided upon. Supervise and hope for the best. No matter how you care, in the end he might end up asking you to back off. Such a sweet, loving friend isn't he?

4. Get drunk and dance! If, after the first three steps, your friend still looks troubled... Remember that nothing makes him forget his problems more than some loud dance music and booze. Just forgive him for his "trademark" dance steps and understand that he is in some BIG trouble.

5. For the next step, you have two alternatives:

(a) Take him home... to his dormitory. Hug and assure him that you'll be there for him etcetera etcetera. He will appreciate it. He might even cry if he's drunk enough.

(b) Take him home... to your house. THIS IS HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED. This option is only for those who want a bit of... adventure in their lives. Maybe, for once, life should give him what he deserves. You think? And besides, as confirmed by three people, he is god... I mean, good.

6. Check how he is the morning after. For those who chose Option B above, don't worry. He will not get attached.

7. Let him be. You've done your job. You can't do everything for him, right? Just watch this blog for updates on what has happened.

All I want... is a little love... and I'll be okay.