It was past 2 pm and I was toying with my lunch, as if a part of me wanted to make the contents of my plate a reflection of what is going on in my mind. As early as noon, I have already decided that I am going to write something about you. Doubtless, it would have been a nice thing to do since thinking about you is itself, a pleasure. I only wish that my thoughts concerning you are coherent and worthy enough to be cast in writing.
It strikes me that sometimes, "fate" intervenes with our decisions. That no matter how set you believe you are in pursuing this path, some big and unexpected things happen which make one of those paths easier to take. It takes all of me to keep in mind that an easy path is not always the best one. But what makes my dilemma the more frustrating is that the path that deep in my heart I wanted to pursue but am afraid of the consequences suddenly became more reachable. Like I was handed a platinum catalyst, or a bezoar. Should I step into that line or should I not?
If only I can fully convince myself that I will be right for you, perhaps I'd have long launched my heart at yours like an arrow to a target. Before, my questions were whether you were amenable to these things and even if you were, whether you are ready. And when I found out that the answer was "yes" to both, I feel like I suddenly ran out of excuses for dithering. The door does exist, its doorknob bold as brass. Beckoning. The only remaining question now is whether I should knock. Loud enough for you to hear me.
Now I don't want you to have the impression that I'm head-over-heels in love with you. For one, that will scare you off. And more importantly, because I'm really not. I'm just fond of you. A little. Fond enough for me to remember the small nuances of our rare encounters at the end of the day. Fond enough for me to seriously consider entering a relationship with you. If only you'll allow me to have that chance. Oh, if only!
***
It's a measure of my... faintness that I will have to prematurely end this here.
You take care, you.
♥
It strikes me that sometimes, "fate" intervenes with our decisions. That no matter how set you believe you are in pursuing this path, some big and unexpected things happen which make one of those paths easier to take. It takes all of me to keep in mind that an easy path is not always the best one. But what makes my dilemma the more frustrating is that the path that deep in my heart I wanted to pursue but am afraid of the consequences suddenly became more reachable. Like I was handed a platinum catalyst, or a bezoar. Should I step into that line or should I not?
If only I can fully convince myself that I will be right for you, perhaps I'd have long launched my heart at yours like an arrow to a target. Before, my questions were whether you were amenable to these things and even if you were, whether you are ready. And when I found out that the answer was "yes" to both, I feel like I suddenly ran out of excuses for dithering. The door does exist, its doorknob bold as brass. Beckoning. The only remaining question now is whether I should knock. Loud enough for you to hear me.
Now I don't want you to have the impression that I'm head-over-heels in love with you. For one, that will scare you off. And more importantly, because I'm really not. I'm just fond of you. A little. Fond enough for me to remember the small nuances of our rare encounters at the end of the day. Fond enough for me to seriously consider entering a relationship with you. If only you'll allow me to have that chance. Oh, if only!
***
It's a measure of my... faintness that I will have to prematurely end this here.
You take care, you.
♥
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