Sometimes it takes a really BIG problem to crash into your life for you to know who your real friends are. It is during these times of need that you know who really cares a fig about you. And sadly, it is during these times that you realize how wrong you are with your friends. That those you consider close to you don't give a fuck. That those you consider your bestest friends don't give a shit about what happens to you.
Maybe silence is their only way to say that I am getting what I deserve. Maybe they agree with the rest of the Mona Lisas & Mad Hatters where I work. They are most probably right, though. But the right thing isn't always what I need, and sadly, very FEW people understand that.
Perhaps I am becoming crazy but their way of thinking alienates me further. It just proves to me that I don't belong here. I want to be with like-minded people. I want to be somewhere I am not forced to do things which I dislike.
It is funny how I am becoming like the characters I used to only read in books. Someone like the protagonist in "The Catcher in the Rye". Someone misunderstood. Someone dangerously odd. Someone who doesn't have a plan.
Sometimes I wish I shouldn't have been enlightened too early. If I were still blind like some of the people around me, I'd still be following what the higher ones dictate without question. But now that I have been left on my own without any real authority for too long, I have grown accustomed to following no one. My life is in my hands and I can't let some outsider just tell me what to do even if it doesn't suit my own inclinations.
After 5 years, my world is shaking again and I am actually excited about the things which are going to happen next. Pity me? Nah, I wanted an unconventional life and I am getting it.
I always get what I want.
"While Mona Lisas & Mad Hatters,
Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers,
Turn around and say good morning to the night,
For unless they see the sky,
But they can't and that is why,
They know not if it's dark outside or light."
Did you get that, you? I didn't think so.
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