NOTE TO THE READER: I wrote this five years ago, way before I heard Twilight exists. I am aware that my writing skills are still amateurish but I still believe that this is worth sharing. What is most special for me about this is that I began writing without seeing how it will end. I just sat in front of the keyboard and let my fingers dance. It's a simple fairy tale really, but the emotions behind it are real. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)
***
A cool breeze blew as he placed his last flower over her grave. The smell of freshly-dug earth filled his nostrils. The colors of the enchanted forest became alive as the sun slowly peeked above the horizon. Digging the grave, in any other circumstances, would have been impossible to do because of his slowly weakening condition. But he just fed... he just drunk her blood. In a goblet, perhaps, but still, it was hers.
He was cold-blooded, he knew. But why wasn't he mourning her loss? If he was any other person, he would be gnashing his teeth, tearing his hair. He would be cursing at the top of his lungs. He would be shouting for her back, and cursing the Creator why he had to take away the only one who loved him. But he was not doing that. And he thought why he was not so.
I am a vampire, he told himself. Simple as that. I am not meant to be loved by people like her. If she was in her right mind, she shouldn't have associated herself with vampires like him. If she wasn't willing, he thought, I wouldn't have brought myself closer to her.
He can still recall that day when he met the princess. A high-pitched shrieking sound awakened him from his diurnal slumber. Naturally curious, he went out of his dwelling to investigate. It was then that he first laid eyes on the princess. She wasn't at her most beautiful then. Eyes wide with horror, a gaping quivering mouth, dirt on her cheeks. Her hair and dress in wild disarray. Acting on his instincts, he saved the princess from the bear. This wouldn't hurt, he thought. I am simply being friendly. And she doesn't look like she could harm me. She must be afraid of me.
Unlikely as it was, they became good friends and she started visiting him in his dwelling which was of course, understandable since he saved her life. But she had to do it in secret because the likes of her or any other human shouldn't associate themselves with a bloodsucking monster like him.
Slowly, the friendship grew into something else.
Sometimes, while listening to her sing or play the violin, he thought of how she was risking her safety by visiting him nightly. She understood very well that he was a vampire, and that his instincts were to puncture the soft skin of her neck with his fangs and kill her. And yet... he did not act as he thought he would. Perhaps the princess' affection for him prevented him from doing that. Perhaps he loved her back. But I am a vampire, he thought again. And I am cold-blooded. I go with my own kind, not with human princesses... Who am I fooling?
And so, whatever the reason may be, he stopped being himself. He stopped thinking of drinking human blood. It was wickedly dreadful, stopping what makes him alive. The urges were so strong, especially when they were dancing and she was exposing her graceful neck to him. So defenseless and clueless that he could do it without her knowing. But for the princess, he would avert his thoughts away from killing her. He would stop being himself as long as he could.
The days went on. His nights spent with the princess were wondrous. Never had he been so loved and appreciated. But he was doing that at the price of his own self. He was weakening, he knew. Day by day his strength that he used to be so proud of was leaking away. Try as he might, his basal instincts will take over. That day will come, and disaster would follow.
I believed, he thought. I believed I can do it, but believing seemed not to be enough. The princess noticed the change in him - how he was becoming thinner and paler. She soon discovered the reason on her own, and because she loved him, offered her own blood as a sacrifice. Her own blood to keep him alive and strong.
It was a horrible ending for such a sweet tale. It should have ended with - Eventually, the vampire became a man. A real man, and with his love for the princess, he has put away all his past. Put his desire for killing people away because that is what love can do. But in real life, that seldom happens...
The wind swayed the branches of the tall fire trees above, showering him with fiery orange petals. This was his favorite spot in the enchanted forest. A rippling brook was nearby, and the evergreen grass here was dotted with shrubs of wild roses. The sun's rays were dazzling. It was already broad daylight and he should have been fast asleep by now. But she deserves my time, he thought. She deserves to be buried in this special place. She deserves my tears. My pain. He has to give her that, at least.
His eye landed on the flower he has laid upon the mound - a crimson rose. The reddest flower he could find. It was as red as her love. As red as her blood, selflessly offered, which he greedily devoured. It was the first flower he ever gave her... and he gave it when she was already dead.
Chirping birds and insects woke him from his reverie. The forest was awakening. Animals passed by him, looking for their breakfast. Of course, he thought, the forest wouldn't stop its daily routine even for the death of a princess. Even for a princess who died for me. To the forest, her death meant absolutely nothing.
But there is a way to bring her back. The witch of the mountain knew of a powerful spell which can awaken the dead. But it isn’t as easy as that. From what he heard, the caster must want the dead back wholly and with pure love, otherwise, the caster will die himself.
In his mind, he pictured the witch's solitary hut near the mountains. It was just a few minutes flight from where he was, and yet he remained rooted to that spot. Undecided whether to go or not.
The wind blew again.
There is a way, it seemed to whisper.
But a way for what, he asked aloud. A way to bring her back or a way for my freedom? Aren't I waiting for this?
Out of sheer confusion, he shouted, shattering the noisy but calm peace of the forest. Isn't this what I want? Why couldn't I have both her and my freedom? I just want to be whole...
Years ago, when he was in his crow form, he was enchanted by a pretty girl and put into a cage as a pet. How that girl can find a crow pretty enough to keep, he never understood. His captivity didn't go well with him. He was admired, he was fed, he was loved. All the things he wanted to feel at that time. But he realized that what he wanted more was his freedom. He didn't want to be prevented from doing things that he wanted to do. And so, while pretending to be asleep, he escaped while the girl opened the cage to feed him.
That was years and years ago, and now the princess has put him in another kind of cage. A cage where what makes him who he is cannot escape. A cage stronger in its own way than bars of iron. He was caged in her heart.
I just want to be free, he thought, as he turned into a crow and flew away from the forest, the death of the princess already blocked from his mind.
Free from what?, the wind asked him.
But he wasn't able to give an answer. For one, he couldn't speak since he was a crow. And for another, he didn't know the answer to the question himself.
***
A cool breeze blew as he placed his last flower over her grave. The smell of freshly-dug earth filled his nostrils. The colors of the enchanted forest became alive as the sun slowly peeked above the horizon. Digging the grave, in any other circumstances, would have been impossible to do because of his slowly weakening condition. But he just fed... he just drunk her blood. In a goblet, perhaps, but still, it was hers.
He was cold-blooded, he knew. But why wasn't he mourning her loss? If he was any other person, he would be gnashing his teeth, tearing his hair. He would be cursing at the top of his lungs. He would be shouting for her back, and cursing the Creator why he had to take away the only one who loved him. But he was not doing that. And he thought why he was not so.
I am a vampire, he told himself. Simple as that. I am not meant to be loved by people like her. If she was in her right mind, she shouldn't have associated herself with vampires like him. If she wasn't willing, he thought, I wouldn't have brought myself closer to her.
He can still recall that day when he met the princess. A high-pitched shrieking sound awakened him from his diurnal slumber. Naturally curious, he went out of his dwelling to investigate. It was then that he first laid eyes on the princess. She wasn't at her most beautiful then. Eyes wide with horror, a gaping quivering mouth, dirt on her cheeks. Her hair and dress in wild disarray. Acting on his instincts, he saved the princess from the bear. This wouldn't hurt, he thought. I am simply being friendly. And she doesn't look like she could harm me. She must be afraid of me.
Unlikely as it was, they became good friends and she started visiting him in his dwelling which was of course, understandable since he saved her life. But she had to do it in secret because the likes of her or any other human shouldn't associate themselves with a bloodsucking monster like him.
Slowly, the friendship grew into something else.
Sometimes, while listening to her sing or play the violin, he thought of how she was risking her safety by visiting him nightly. She understood very well that he was a vampire, and that his instincts were to puncture the soft skin of her neck with his fangs and kill her. And yet... he did not act as he thought he would. Perhaps the princess' affection for him prevented him from doing that. Perhaps he loved her back. But I am a vampire, he thought again. And I am cold-blooded. I go with my own kind, not with human princesses... Who am I fooling?
And so, whatever the reason may be, he stopped being himself. He stopped thinking of drinking human blood. It was wickedly dreadful, stopping what makes him alive. The urges were so strong, especially when they were dancing and she was exposing her graceful neck to him. So defenseless and clueless that he could do it without her knowing. But for the princess, he would avert his thoughts away from killing her. He would stop being himself as long as he could.
The days went on. His nights spent with the princess were wondrous. Never had he been so loved and appreciated. But he was doing that at the price of his own self. He was weakening, he knew. Day by day his strength that he used to be so proud of was leaking away. Try as he might, his basal instincts will take over. That day will come, and disaster would follow.
I believed, he thought. I believed I can do it, but believing seemed not to be enough. The princess noticed the change in him - how he was becoming thinner and paler. She soon discovered the reason on her own, and because she loved him, offered her own blood as a sacrifice. Her own blood to keep him alive and strong.
It was a horrible ending for such a sweet tale. It should have ended with - Eventually, the vampire became a man. A real man, and with his love for the princess, he has put away all his past. Put his desire for killing people away because that is what love can do. But in real life, that seldom happens...
The wind swayed the branches of the tall fire trees above, showering him with fiery orange petals. This was his favorite spot in the enchanted forest. A rippling brook was nearby, and the evergreen grass here was dotted with shrubs of wild roses. The sun's rays were dazzling. It was already broad daylight and he should have been fast asleep by now. But she deserves my time, he thought. She deserves to be buried in this special place. She deserves my tears. My pain. He has to give her that, at least.
His eye landed on the flower he has laid upon the mound - a crimson rose. The reddest flower he could find. It was as red as her love. As red as her blood, selflessly offered, which he greedily devoured. It was the first flower he ever gave her... and he gave it when she was already dead.
Chirping birds and insects woke him from his reverie. The forest was awakening. Animals passed by him, looking for their breakfast. Of course, he thought, the forest wouldn't stop its daily routine even for the death of a princess. Even for a princess who died for me. To the forest, her death meant absolutely nothing.
But there is a way to bring her back. The witch of the mountain knew of a powerful spell which can awaken the dead. But it isn’t as easy as that. From what he heard, the caster must want the dead back wholly and with pure love, otherwise, the caster will die himself.
In his mind, he pictured the witch's solitary hut near the mountains. It was just a few minutes flight from where he was, and yet he remained rooted to that spot. Undecided whether to go or not.
The wind blew again.
There is a way, it seemed to whisper.
But a way for what, he asked aloud. A way to bring her back or a way for my freedom? Aren't I waiting for this?
Out of sheer confusion, he shouted, shattering the noisy but calm peace of the forest. Isn't this what I want? Why couldn't I have both her and my freedom? I just want to be whole...
Years ago, when he was in his crow form, he was enchanted by a pretty girl and put into a cage as a pet. How that girl can find a crow pretty enough to keep, he never understood. His captivity didn't go well with him. He was admired, he was fed, he was loved. All the things he wanted to feel at that time. But he realized that what he wanted more was his freedom. He didn't want to be prevented from doing things that he wanted to do. And so, while pretending to be asleep, he escaped while the girl opened the cage to feed him.
That was years and years ago, and now the princess has put him in another kind of cage. A cage where what makes him who he is cannot escape. A cage stronger in its own way than bars of iron. He was caged in her heart.
I just want to be free, he thought, as he turned into a crow and flew away from the forest, the death of the princess already blocked from his mind.
Free from what?, the wind asked him.
But he wasn't able to give an answer. For one, he couldn't speak since he was a crow. And for another, he didn't know the answer to the question himself.
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