Nothing

November 28, 2010


A plain white shirt, khaki shorts, and blue sandals.

You were standing on the covered path between AS and FC. I was coming from behind you and that gave me the few seconds I needed to compose myself. You were exactly how I imagined you to be, and that was hardly surprising since I already saw your pictures. I took a deep breath before I touched your shoulder and you turned and you said hello. Your voice was very deep, and that was the first surprise I got from you. From how we were texting, I got the impression that you were effeminate.

(I was becoming annoyed with how late he was when I got a tap on my shoulder. I turned and well... gosh, he was skinnier than I thought and that face! Pictures do hide a lot of things - e.g. a very bad case of acne. I swear I'm going to be more careful next time. And what a very very gay voice he has!)

You were looking at me sideways, trying to see my face without being too obvious. It was always the moment I keep dreading on first dates because it sucks when you disappoint people by something you can't help but have. We started walking toward the FC shed and I tripped on that infernal mini-hump near that pathway. I struggled to keep it cool even if the situation was rapidly becoming awkward. You did not say anything and I thought I was successful in bluffing my embarrassment.

(I immediately suggested heading to our destination right away and while we were walking, he tripped. His mind must be blank because he just realized how lucky he was in being able to date me. I wish I were in the same situation as him.)

We sat beside each other on the Philcoa jeepney and I was happy that you kept talking to me. You talked mostly bout academic stuff though and asked about what course I am taking. It was a sensitive topic to me, especially in light of recent events, and I told that my position in the Institute was rather precarious. You said nothing about it and I was glad that you did not mind.

(I had to talk to him relentlessly to hide my disappointment, and it was clear, from what he was telling me that he was nothing special. Not as accomplished as I was. He was actually implying that he was proud of being a... a delinquent! I didn't know what to say to that so I kept my mouth shut.)

We arrived at Technohub, and I had to excuse myself because I needed to visit the ATM. Unfortunately I returned to you empty-handed since my bank was again, offline to other ATM's. I gave a weak laugh and told you that I was afraid I might just have to sit with you and sip nothing. After a few seconds, you graciously offered to buy my drink. I thanked you profusely and was impressed by your generosity. I ordered a macchiato while you had some tea.

(And just when I thought things couldn't get any more awkward, I had to pay for his drink. No points to him for being unprepared for our date.)

I was sitting very close to you, and it gave me the opportunity to look deeper into your eyes. I had to concentrate extra harder to catch up with the intellectual conversation we were having because everytime I allow myself to dwell on your face, I feel like I was being swept away. My lips kept quirking into a smile everytime I let my thoughts wander for a bit and you kept stopping and asking me "What?" while you smiled in return. I did my best to give appropriate and meaningful replies but I found myself ill-prepared for this sort of discussion. It was not soon before I realized that one of my wishes has been answered - I finally dated someone who is hands down, more intelligent than me.

(To be fair, he did pay attention as I bombarded him with my passion - gaining knowledge. And his replies were all sensible if not always clear. It was refreshing to have a chat with someone who is obviously also well-educated but I've met others who are of a much higher caliber than he is. He asked me a question about the significance of Archaeology, and I thought that it was rather rude but I had my answer ready. He was impressed. It was blindingly obvious that he liked me because he couldn't look at me for a long time. He seemed to be doing his best though and that was great. I only wish I could smile at him like how he was smiling at me.)

Before long we were having an animated discussion on your interests, which range impressively from music, art, dining, to physics and of course, Archaeology. To be frank, I would rather have had a relaxing conversation but I was amused at how really passionate you were about these things. In a way, I was really indirectly getting to know who you are. I saw myself in you as you were explaining these things to me and I knew then that you were a great teacher. I fell even deeper knowing that, if you were my boyfriend, we will never have a lack of things to talk about. I will never get bored with you. I told you that I am like you, only that I put all of my curiosity into exploring things within me.

(For a while, I lost myself in talking about the things I love the most. I was talking almost nonstop and there were times when he was trying to add something, only that he wasn't able to interrupt my scientific tirade. It was an enjoyable conversation and I only hope he did not notice how disinterested I was whenever he chose a topic. He kept putting in silly things like love, feelings, life into our conversation and those were, to me, topics which are irrelevant and unpredictable. We actually argued about that and no matter how I tried to disprove his points, he was insistent on the importance of those things which, in one way or another, cannot be proven by valid scientific methods.)

He was supposed to go home early because he said he needed to study for an exam on Friday, but his friend called and asked to have dinner with him at Malate. Also, he was to introduce this guy he used to date to his gay friend. He said that he loved playing matchmaker and I found that endearing. It was almost 9pm when we stood and I thought it a good sign that he overstayed. He must have really enjoyed our date. I waited for him to ride an FX and after he closed the door he waved one last goodbye. I smiled and I thought that he was actually really sweet, all in all, despite his academic leanings.

(I had to cut off our conversation because I had to leave and my bff was already on his way to our favorite Korean restaurant. And besides, I did not want to keep not only my bff, but also my ex-date waiting too long. I still like him, and I couldn't wait to see him again. I suppose this date with Bry was okay but he is far from the being the best date I've had.)

I was walking as if I was floating on air and I still couldn't believe my luck at being able to have a date with him. For almost three hours, I was able to become a part of his life and for a guy like him, that was more than I can ever ask for. This was the best date I have ever had and nobody can blame me if I fall for him, harder than I've ever fallen for anyone in my whole life.

(Nothing.)