In First Then Out Next

November 14, 2009

Today I bought new eyeglasses.

And from now on, I will not let it slide down the bridge of my nose again.

People may have wondered why I used to wear my glasses that way. If they don't ask, I don't bother to explain.

I'll be turning 25 in five days, and the new eyewear is my gift to myself. I had a new haircut as well, to complete my new 25-year-old look. It is symbolic of how I am going to overhaul my life over the next few months. Sometimes, I feel like Madonna because I always have the need to reinvent myself. I want to keep surprising people. I want to make the people around me realize that I am not yet at my full potential and that I am taking my time getting there. I just want to beat them all.

When I was younger, I vowed two things to myself - that I will be cool and that I will be good-looking. Maybe it is reasonable to assume that I was successful in the first one. And it still surprises me sometimes when people tell me that I am cool and hip, especially when I remember who I used to be. I am satisfied with my level of coolness at present. So I suppose it is time to focus on my other vow, and I've already taken the first step.

I find it weird that until now, I kinda hate people who spend too much time and effort making themselves look better. I've always believed that there are so much more important things than that. Sure, I may have spent too much on clothes, but that's a passive kind of vanity. I can't imagine myself applying lotion to my skin, or getting a pedicure, or spending hours in front of the mirror to fix my hair.

But at this point in my life, I finally realize that I do need to address these issues. I am done with developing my character. I don't think there is anything I can do more with fixing myself internally. So now I am going to work on the outside. I want to reach the point when I am completely satisfied with who I am both in and out.

Before I leave the country.