The sun was halfway down when I opened my eyes, and perhaps they wouldn't have if my ears didn't hear the closing of the door. The last dream was still interfering with my vision and when I talked, my voice was uncharacteristically deep-throated. I thought of you, and how you would have liked to hear my voice when it's like that.
Minutes passed until I was able to choose what to wear for the day. I took those clothes with me and went inside the bathroom. I was already undressed when I remembered that I forgot my towel outside. I put my clothes back on, thinking that if I had a more decent body I wouldn't need to worry too much about covering my body. I thought of you, and how I love it when you feel my body under the sheets.
And I thought of you through the rest of what little remained of the day. And the whole night.
A certain date is approaching, and I haven't completely forgotten about the past two years yet. That is normal, I know, but I wish sometimes I can help myself forget by loving you more.
And I'm thinking of where you are now, and of course, I immediately thought of that place. Maybe if I can make myself reduced to bytes and be a character. Maybe if I were something to click or to hot key. Maybe I won't feel like this anymore...
Sometimes I wish we can be stranded somewhere without internet and electricity. Sometimes I wish such games were never ever invented. Sometimes I wish we can spend more time on the real solid tangible world. Sometimes I wish we can just go outside and do real things.
I am so afraid because I don't know what to feel anymore because sooner or later I will always find myself in the wrong.
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