Stripper of Confidence

July 12, 2009

Woe unto you, stripper of confidence. Now, I am free. The world is my stage. And I'm going to show you that I can get what I want. Yes, I am not perfect. But nobody is. And instead of dwelling on the things which I do not have, I should focus on the things I do have.

In the end, my wit and charm will win that guy's heart. In the end, my passion will triumph. I will triumph. With spirit and fire, my pride out of the way, I will get what I deserve.

Already, somebody is courting me. And already, he has told me sweet things you've never ever said to me. You just don't love me enough. You do not even have enough imagination to think of such things.

Already, I can get myself laid if I wanted to. And they appreciate me, like you never did. They tell me I'm a good kisser. They tell me my body is okay. They... like me. Oh go to that bath house again for all I care. Go to that freak place where everyone gets naked in front of everyone. Go there with your shameless friends and suck each other clean. That's where you belong anyway. All along, that's where you want to go anyway.

Yeah, you may have the looks. Yeah, you may have a passable body. But after sex, then what? You can't even keep an interesting conversation. Deep in your bones, you are boring. You admit that that is who you are. That is who you ever will be.

I may be hotheaded. I may be temperamental. But I'd rather be that than be dull like you. I'd rather be that than be a hypocrite, proclaiming to the whole world that you hate self-righteousness when you are the most self-righteous bitch I've ever met. You never make mistakes, right? You can't even accept that you make mistakes. You can't even think of yourself making mistakes.

I wanted you to go down, yes, but I realized that I do not need to do anything. Because by yourself, you are going down. Your eyes were too sharp in criticizing me, but you are too blind to see your own flaws.

Woe unto you, stripper of confidence. So many times you've brought me down. So many times you've made me ashamed of myself instead of lifting me higher, which any boyfriend would have done. Woe unto you because no matter how you twist events to your liking, in the end, I was the one who wanted to stay and give more. In the end, I was the one who was better off without someone like you pulling me down.

I've cast myself down for you Darwin. For the longest time, I did. Now the whole world is my stage and one day, you are going to see my star shine. I am destined to make a name out there.

Now that I am out of this relationship, I finally realize that I have worth. And I suppose that I wouldn't have appreciated myself as much if you didn't treat me that badly.