Bottom

September 16, 2008

There is no shame in admitting that I am most probably going to fail most (if not all) of my PhD subjects this sem unless I pick myself up soon. The truth is, I cannot find the motivation to go through all of these stuff anymore. I´m telling you, this is the most academically difficult period in my whole life and even with that awareness, I couldn´t care less!

The problem with being a self-proclaimed guru about love and life is that you begin to realize early on how futile some of the things our school forces us to do. You begin to realize how your teachers could have presented this subject better or could have given more encouragement. It´s so unfair! How I make sure that my students get all the help they can get while my teachers leave us to struggle on our own. Well, it is a doctorals degree I am trying to get here so maybe comparing them is unfair. But still! Teachers, graduate or undergraduate, should be good teachers!

I just don´t know what is happening to me anymore. Explaining that most of the subjects I am taking this sem are ¨not my thing¨ is just a lame excuse. Difficult or easy, when I really want to get a high grade, I know I can... but NOW!

I´m just not used to being at the bottom. It doesn´t feel nice but as I´ve said, I cannot make myself care.

Somebody should motivate me. I can´t do everything on my own anymore.

Not anymore.

Well, got to go. Time for my next class.